for the fragility of life.

2008-01-24T07:31:00.000-08:00

CHANGED HOSTS ONCE AGAIN

RE-LINK ME TO
www.porcelain-hearts.co.nr

Or visit it HERE

Thanks once more.

2008-01-20T06:08:00.000-08:00

I'm falling terribly sick. I can feel it in my bones.

Not the way I intended my trip to end. I'm gonna down a couple of pills and knock myself out to bed.

Random pictures to tie you in until I'm able to draw enough energy to my brain and make it work.

CREDIT: John Kaczmarek

PAYAP CHRISTIAN ZONE
INTERN/APPRENTICE TEAM '08

2008-01-15T08:58:00.000-08:00

Music: Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

I woke up drowsily. I really wanted to sleep in today but unfortunately, we had our usual equipping sessions. Plus, today was mystery equipping! So we were told to be ready by 9.30 and P' Robert will come take us to our designated location.

The drive out of town lasted for about 45 minutes or so. As usual, we passed by beautiful landscapes. The further we drove, the better it got. At one point, we were surrounded with nothing but tall ranges of mountains and wide paddy fields. It was indeed a very scenic view.

We arrived at the foothill of this mountain called the Crazy Horse. Reason it being called that is because the rocks that form the mountain resembled a head of a horse. Ingenius. We drove up and parked the car.

Then the hike began. It wouldn't have been too bad if it wasn't for the little pointy rocks and the loose soil that made our track. That just made it hard for all of us to find a proper grip on the ground while climbing up. Had it been damp soil, the walk up would have been much easier. Plus, the mountain was rather steep too, so at certain points, we had to use our hands just so we can lift ourselves upwards.

Anyways, the hike ended about 20 minutes later. We didn't go right on top because that would need proper ropes and gear. And there we were with bibles and notebooks. So it wasn't convenient. Instead, we climbed up to a strategic spot and found the opening of a cave. Climbed up a series of rock and P' Robert said this is where we would have our session.

I looked down and saw nothing but darkness. We were right on top at the mouth of one of the many caves there. It was awesome. I looked up and there was a small opening that allowed sufficient sunlight to stream through. That was our main source of lighting.

All around me was nothing but hard lime rocks that took who knows how long to form. If I had to describe it one word, I would say: Majestic.

The rocks were big and boulder like. They looked solid and firm and almost indestructable. As opposed to my trip to the houseboat last weekend that was mostly tranquil and peaceful, the climb up to this cave showed me how powerful God can be. He's versatile and he's the all mighty creator. There is nothing He cannot do.

We spent about 2 hours there and then it was time for lunch.

The rest of the day was spent with us lazing around the Zone. Our initial movie plans had to be cancelled because some of the students got tied down with playing computer games. I have no comments on that.

Rented a couple of DVD's. I got to watch The Devil Wears Prada for the millionth time and I still love it. Great flick.

I got to find out some stories from Eddie after talking with him later in the night. I feel like kicking myself for making things so transparent. Plus, I feel like a moron as well for letting myself slip this far. I know it'll probably mean nothing after I go home yet I still hate the feelings I have now.

Adelina is confused. And yes, whatever you're thinking this is about right now, you're most probably right. So no, I don't wish to elaborate further. I just needed a place to vent. And what better place to do so than the world wide web.

2008-01-14T07:23:00.000-08:00

Music: So contagious - Acceptance

Lucky people! You guys are in for a picture post today. Now, it's not just pictures this time, but also little pieces of words put together for you. Know why?

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYSSS.

Not really. I just have alot of spare time at the moment.

Anyhow, just be thankful and embrace the not so good pictures. :)

On Friday, I followed the guys to their jam session in town! It was awesome! The speakers were blaring, the bass was thumping and I absolutely loved P' Bon "amateur" drumming. It wasn't that amateur to me. He claimed to only be playing for a month but the way I see it, he looks almost pro to me. I miss my drumset now.

The drummer

The Birthday Suits! *gives a standing ovation*

After that, all of us squeezed into the back of a truck and headed across town to eat Moo Kah Tah (I have no idea how to spell it). Basically, it's BarBQ Plaza for those of you who are from Subang. Only in Thailand, it's 16 ringgit for all you can eat including dessert and sushi.

Needless to say, we were STUFFED. But it was fun cooking and laughing together. I ended up throwing vegetables at Bon because he wouldn't stop cursing in Thai. Did you know, pumpkin in thai is faak thong. Say it out loud and you'll get what I mean.

Sunday night was Walking Street for me! I abso-freaking-lutely love that place. I could shop there all day long. The things there are so cheap! Especially accessories and little gifts. Awesome place but it was super crowded.

P' Bob and I found a pretty lane lit by lanterns in the midst of all the chaos around us.

Today was my off day. So technically, I get to sleep in but Marvin's crap woke me up; AGAIN. Thank god it won't be here tomorrow. It's spending the night at the workshop!

I went over to Central Plaza today. It's a mall. Helped Eddie do his shopping. Got a new piercing! My ass is so busted when I get home. But I'm happy with it. It cost only 30 baht, which is like RM 3. I was so shocked when the lady used her HANDS to pierce through. She literally took the earing I purchased and stabbed through my ear. That was definitely a first for me.

I even got my hair done for 10 ringgit! So now, I have glitter in my hair. It's not that obvious at the moment though. I plan to get more. :)

Oh by the way, this is stuff is yummy! I don't know what it's made of. Fried dough or something but it's super good. It can be like my staple for the next week or so.

Bag full of deliciousness.

2008-01-12T23:43:00.000-08:00

Music: Ya pit (Poison) - Bodyslam

Yes. The song I'm currently listening to right now is a Thai song. Now, it's not just any Thai song. It's an awesome head-banging Thai rock song! Kick ass.

Well, 2 weeks living here has made me half Thai already. But honestly, this is a fantastic place to be in. I know I've probably mentioned it several hundred times but I find no harm in emphasizing the good old truth.

Thailand is amazing.

Anyways, the past few days have been pretty hectic for me. The rest of the American interns arrived and they're already into their 4th day here. Pictures will be up in the next post I suppose because I'm rushing to go play after this. We're all big fans of games and sports here.

On Friday we played BB Guns. It's kinda like paintball only with little plastic pellets as your bullet. With no surprise, I sucked at it. I think I was the first one to get shot. It was hard to find a person to shoot. And when I DID find someone, I fired and I missed. Frustrating!

In the evening we headed out to the countryside. The scenery was breath-taking. My words will never be sufficient enough to describe the beauty and wonders of nature. We drove past paddy fields that just stretched out into the mountains. The sky was the perfect blue and the sunshine streamed through the clouds. With the wind in my hair and the sight I had, all I could do was thank God for making such a scene.

We finally arrived at the houseboat and I think I just caught a glimpse of heaven. We parked and in front of me was this vast ocean of water with the mountains surrounding it. Took a boat ride of about 20 minutes out and reached this floating lodge where we stayed for the night.

If I thought God couldn't do better, I was wrong. DEAD WRONG.

The temperature dropped to about 13 degrees during the night. We had our devotional outdoors and I was freezing. Most of them were pretty tired after the swim earlier, so they went to bed.

As for me, I grabbed my journal, my headphones, a jacket and plonked my butt down on the jetty. I stared out into the darkness and started writing my thoughts for the day.

I looked up and I saw stars. Millions of stars. Bright ones, dim ones. So many stars. They dotted the velvet sky like precious little diamonds. They sparkled in the darkness and at that moment, I just sat under them, awed by the beauty they possessed. Never in my life had I seen such wonder. I mean, words cannot begin to comprehend the sight I had.

And there I was; sitting in the middle of this huge lake, wearing nothing but a thin cotton shirt and shorts in a 13 degree temperature, my body begging me to go someplace warm by the rapid chattering of my teeth and the goosebumps on my skin, and yet all I could do was stare and thank God over and over again for giving me my eyes to see his majestic creations.

That was one of the images I want tattooed in my mind forever. That place, that view was the epitome of beauty. To hell with size zeroes and the Mona Lisa. God is truly the artist and his creations are His masterpieces.

We headed home before noon the next day. Needless to say, we were exhausted but my oh my, I just realised that that was such a life-changing experience for me. No one will ever believe in the silly Big Bang Theory after witnessing such a sight.

The sky will fall, the ground will give

Through it all You will be faithful

When beauty fades and slips away,

For all my days You will be faithful.

2008-01-08T02:29:00.000-08:00

Music: Franklin - Paramore

I woke up early; due to the noisy rumbling of an old car engine. Peered out the window only to discover it was Marvin's (one of the guys here) car aka crap. I wasn't surprised. Tried ever so hardly to fall back asleep again but realised I had to go to the bathroom.

Our breakfast date with Eddie had to be cancelled because he had to go back to his hometown earlier than expected. So there we were, the three interns once again, munching on frosties and hoping that someone would just waltz in through the front door and invite us out for a meal.

Obviously, we had no such luck.

I'm not quite sure what the others were doing but as for me, the only thing I did the whole morning was watch time pass by. Literally.

I grabbed my music player and memory verse, walked down the stairs, sat my butt down on the couch and stared at the clock. I could clearly remember the time then. It was 11. 17 am. I watched the seconds pass and the long hand slowly moving closer towards number 4. When it was 11.30, I shifted my eyes and continued to stare out the window.

I watched the university kids ride by with their scooters and motorcycles. Some were in a rush and some were not. Some wore jackets and some did not. Some carried thick heavy books while others just had a thin piece of paper in their hands.

In short, the zone was lifeless in the morning. It was dead quiet without any sound of activity. No, not even an ant could be seen scurrying around.

Finally at 12, we decided to go grab lunch. The minute we stepped out, we met Bon! And then Jenny. And then Poi. And Oi and P' Robert.

WHERE WERE THEY BEFORE THIS?!?!

Anyways, I'm just thankful that the rest of the day wasn't like that. We had a longgg equipping session. We finally finished the last 4 chapters of the Gospel of John and I'm proud that we covered the whole thing in 5 days. Go us!

I have no idea what I'm doing later at night. Will probably play some cards or just hang out. The 3 other interns from America will be arriving tomorrow, thank god. That's more people to be around with. Hopefully things around here will lighten up.

PS: Sorry for walking you guys through my oh-so-exciting day. :)

2008-01-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

PICTURE POST!

P' Robert and his family.
I love them and their Gracie too, their cat.

The Winter Festival. :)

My unlucky number.

I'm friends with a thief.
Honest.

Water buffaloes in the evening.

Us being really silly together. :)

2008-01-06T01:17:00.000-08:00

Music: Pieces don't fit - James Morrison

Don't you just love magic shows? Especially the good professional ones. You'd watch them cut themselves in half and rejoin themselves back together. Then there'd be the infamous disappearing acts. One minute he's there and the next he's gone.

Wouldn't it be something if we could all just disappear? To go to a foreign land where no one knows your name or where you're from. More importantly, where no one knows your past.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just start anew. Start fresh; start clean. With our experiences, if we were given a second chance, we'd definitely know how we'd map our lives out.

When I came over here, I felt as if I was leaving my life behind. I was so excited and so pumped to just do everything right. the way I wanted my life to be. I almost felt as if I had disappeared from reality.

Over here in Chiangmai, everyone rides in trucks. I have no idea why but they do. So if you were gonna have more than 4 passengers, the remaining would just have to go in the trunk. I usually like sitting in the trunk because it's more windy- even if it messes up my hair.

Well as usual I was riding in the back and daydreaming for a bit. My eyes were fixated on the road. It was a cemented road and so when the vehicle moves really fast, all you could see was running lines just like those machines that makes cloth and the threads move really fast. I don't know if you get my drift.

And then all of a sudden I just had this urge to fall off.

No, I'm not suicidal nor do I need to see a shrink. But just for that split second, my mind prompted me to lean over and just fall off. Fortunately, I managed to get a hold of my self and automatically shifted myself nearer inside.

I honestly don't know where this post is heading. I guess it's just a summary of the stuff that's been going on in my mind. Just random thoughts and situations that have been playing in my mind.

Later on tonight, I'll most probably be going to walking street. Another huge night market sort of thing. I'm planning to buy a couple of items if they're cheap, so wish me luck. (:

2008-01-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

Music: -

The only sound is the sound I hear is the low humming of the CPU and the typing of keys as I compose this.

Tonight I feel fairly sad. I don't know how to translate that in Thai though. It's the first time I've been blue since my trip here. Oh and since I'm on that topic, I might as well just say it's my fourth day in Thailand, I think.

Well, today was less than productive. Had the normal equipping sessions with P' Robert (calling someone P' is a sign of respect; like Uncle) and then went out to lunch. Have I told you how good Thai food is? Yeah. That's a bad thing cos I'll gain weight for sure throughout the month.

Which leads me to my second event. After lunch, we hung out at the building with a couple of other Thai students. And then at 4 (Malaysian timing is an hour faster than Thailand), we met up with P' Jenny to go to Carrefour. We- the interns -stocked up on cookies and snacks. I took the oppurtunity to grab some instant soup. I'm in love with those things and they're also pretty filling.

At night, we went to a Winter Festival, because it is winter right now in Chiangmai; the state/province where I am at. For those of you who need further geography classes, Chiangmai is located to the north of Thailand and about 30 to 45 minutes from Bangkok by plane.

The festival really was a carnival actually. Like a funfair. Complete with ferry wheels (I'm not sure what they're called) and rows and rows of street food. Some of us tried winning a couple of the cheap soft toys they had as prizes but sadly, we weren't lucky enough. The clothes however were super cheap and I was so tempted to get some.

To conclude this post- because I am feeling rather tired and I still have more work to do -Chiangmai is an awesome place to be in. I love being lost in translation all the time and being talked about right in front of my face yet have no idea what's going on. The people here are spectacular and I don't think it could any better. Oh the food. Have I mentioned the food yet? Ah, I suppose you guys already know all about Thai food.

I hope to be writing more with the weeks to come. Hopefully with a couple of pictures and whatnot. Let's just see if I have enough time.

To the friends who has already started living the college life: I hope you guys are having as much as fun attending class as I am shopping here in Thailand.

2007-12-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

Music: This is your life - The Juliana Theory

Gah. I've been chomping down fast food for the past 3 days. I feel like a lazy American. This has got to stop. I shall be a vegan.

I can just hear my friends scoffing and snickering at me just like when I told them I'd swear off my fries for the rest of my life.

FINE.

So I won't be vegan..yet. But I'll definitely rule out fast food for the next one month at least.

Alright. Down to some serious business. I shall enlighten you readers once again on my oh so very exciting life.

I woke up because the light in my room was switched off. I'm afraid of the dark. So oddly enough, I sleep with the lights on even if I find it annoying most of the time. As soon as I got up, I groggily made my way to the computer to play poker and this tower building game. Needless to say, I'm addicted to them.

After that, I followed my dad to the money changer to change my money for my trip next week. It was the first time I held so much money in my hand. And it felt goooood. You could see the greed in me through the smile on my face. How sinful.

Headed back to One Utama to buy more bras. And after that, I got a light sweater for Chiangmai, which I assume would be cold. :)

Unfortunately, I missed Eric's party because I had to attend an event at church. Hopefully you guys had fun!

2007-12-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

Music: If we are the body - Casting Crowns

I am tired! And, I bought the wrong bra. So everytime I put it on, I'll have to remember not to breathe. No, just because I'm talking about my boobs does not mean you're allowed to.

Went shopping today with Melissa. I must say, it was a very productive day. Did all my last minute shopping and got almost everything I wanted with some cash to spare.

I didn't know One Utama had a Forever 21. So when Melissa told me there was, I was euphoric. Immediately headed over there and fell in love with almost everything they had. Looked around for the hoodie I saw the other day at the Pavilion. Alas, they had none whatsoever. I was so disappointed. Guess I'll have to go back down to KL to get it.

We searched high and low for the perfect sneakers. My mission was to get a new pair of shoes because my old ones no longer suffice. It's sad to say that we didn't manage to find any. So I settled on a greenish looking pair. I'm happy with it because I know it could've been worse.

Zara was having a sale too. It was my first time stepping into that store and I got 2 tops! I love sales.

We finished everything by 5.30. I almost got a manicure but we didn't have enough time. A next trip perhaps. I spent the night with Melissa pondering over Laguna Beach and one of its cast members. :)

Pictures another time because I'm only granted 20 minutes on the computer. Damn. So there you go, a play by play of my day at the mall.

Oh and Lisa has a blog. Visit her HERE

Be thankful. It's free publicity. :)

I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it.

Let's walk away from this hell.

2007-12-27T04:16:00.000-08:00

Music: Into the dark - The Juliana Theory

It's such a shame that the band I'm currently listening to has broken up. They were a good band. It's just too bad now that I'll never be able to see them live.

Moving on to much happier things.

Hm, I just realised there are none. My day has been far less than exciting. I'm totally taking time for granted. The hours pass by and I feel no guilt that I'm lazing in front of the television, swtiching the channels around aimlessly. It's about I start worrying, right? Yeah. I think so too.

Well the only good thing I did today was scout around for some programmes and potential colleges for me to attend after my long sinful break is over. Oh and I learned a new thing too. A wonderful new saying I might be using for the next 6 months or so: Education is all about money.

Met up with Sam. He took me on this long ride and explained possibly almost about every single college around Subang. As some of you already know, I was initially interested with the American Degree Programme. Seeing as how the fees for that was mind-blowingly expensive, I figured I'd choose another.

So he had to take out more brochures and explain to me further about foundation and diploma courses available. All in all, it took about 2 and a half hours I think. I'm very grateful. At least now I have a rough idea about how long tertiary education will last and how much exactly it will cost me.

Anyways, he could sense a little confusion and uncertainty in me, which I'm sure is very common amongst post high school students. So he told me to go home and think about what I really want to do and my budget because he doesn't want me to regret with my choices later. Well, thank you Sam for being so accomodating. :)

Other than that, I don't I have much to say about my day. I leave exactly a week from now to Thailand. While most of my friends are anxious about stepping into college and wondering when they'll get their first taste of sex, I'm over here busy listing down the things I need to bring over there. Will 5 sets of bras be enough to last me a month? Maybe I should go buy more.

EDIT//

Heyhey new skin. Unfortunately, this isn't by me. I know this usually isn't the kind of skin I'd pick. But for some reason, I like the blends. You can see the amount of effort put into the blend. The colour hues and the positioning. Very detailed and I'm sure countless hours of work has been put into making this what it is. So by using this skin, I'm giving the creator and the creation the credit it deserves. :)

However, you might notice the comment feature is a little off. I'll try to work on it but if not, then I guess you people just have to deal with it.

2007-12-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

Music: The Adventure Final - Angels & Airwaves

PICTURE POST.
Claim your pictures people.

***

CAMP #1

MR. BS (My group at camp)

Busy writing notes

A typical note.

The hall at 1.30 in the morning.

***

CAMP #2

Playing Star Wars.
Woa si ni lim pe

Fuh-reaks. :)

Maggie Mag!

Elevator picture.

Bad flash.

***

GIG AT INSTITUT JANTUNG NEGARA

Her name is Sophie Anne James

Oh Korean!

***

SUNDAY PARTY

I stole Rudolph's antlers.

Teeth. :D

Puffy face.

***

THE PAVILLION & PYRAMID

With Keith

It's called LOVE. ♥

Lookin' pretty in black.

Evil Queen

Through a hole.

2007-12-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

Music: Staying Alive - Bee Gees

I'm not home, once again. Somehow, I don't miss home anymore. Home feels like a cage for me. What a pathetic analogy, but whatever.

I finally had my taste of The Pavillion this afternoon. Indeed that place is definitely for the higher income. But the Christmas decorations were without a doubt magnificent. I believe the theme is a winter white christmas. Everything was white and shiny. Real pretty. I did take a couple of pictures but like I said, not at home. I promise I'll devote a time consuming picture post once I'm done.

Entered Forever 21. I love that store! Especially the over-priced tees. Damn, I have got to get rich. Everything there was calling my name. The sweaters were super cute. Absolute LOVE. I either need a credit card or a sale; soon.

After that, we contemplated on watching a movie. But nothing really fitted. The shows were either too late or too near to the screen. So we resorted to having Mexican food for dinner. What more can I say with Mexican food?

Walked around for a bit. Time passed by really quickly. Before we knew it, it was close to 9 already. Entered this Osim shop and messed around with the massage chairs and stuff. I didn't fancy them. Too ticklish. :)

My folks are spending the night Sheraton Subang, just for the fun of it since my dad had this voucher of some sort. So technically, I'm home alone. Just not AT home. Wow, the sleepiness is kicking faster than I had expected.

I'll leave you guys here. Have a merry and blessed Christmas this year. :)

2007-12-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

Music: Who am I - Casting Crowns

So Lisa took off the Singapore today. Without telling me. Without ME.

Basically, I'm stuck at home until the 2nd of January. That's when I'm leaving to Thailand. After a whole week at camp, staying at home is about the hardest thing for me to do. I'd walk around. Laze on the bed and then do more aimless wandering around the house.

I'm aching to step out and go somewhere. Too much fun and freedom for me does have its side effects.

Anywho, I've been really wanting to go down to Singapore. After all the invites and persuasion from people I've been around, Singapore suddenly sounds so alluring. Right now, I'd do anything to get a ticket down there. But it's the festive seasons, so everywhere's fully booked; unfortunately.

Reagan and I attended a wedding a couple of hours ago. And we were both so desperate to find a way down there. We even thought of taking a cab down, even if it would amount to some unreasonable figure. Yes, I am aware we that desperate. Clearly, that option was being ruled by the parents.

I guess I'll have to resort to the fact that I'm going to be at home for the next couple of days and "prepare for my long trip" which I'm just gonna start one 24 hours before I take off. Typical procrastinating me. :)

I have quite a few pictures, but I'm lazy to load them up now. If you're lucky, maybe in the next post of something. Still bummed out over the fact that I can't go to Singapore. Plans for the next few days anyone?

Oh yes, the song I'm listening is awesome. From a Christian band and I'm so addicted to it at the moment. Thanks Kevin! (:

----
I got tagged by Faisal

Rules:-

Link the person that tagged you & post rules

List 8 random facts about yourself and tag 8 more people

1. I own a drumset. And I absolutely love it!

2. The only part of my body I like are my fingernails.

3. I am not allergic to anything.

4. I have more than 4 piercings, and I intend to get more. Go ahead, label me.

5. I have never gotten a hangover

6. I only type using my index fingers.

7. I have a thing for braces.

8. I've always wanted to be part of a rock band.

Add a black & white photo of yourself

I tag, whoever who has nothing to do and feels compelled to do this. :)

2007-12-12T20:22:00.000-08:00

Music: Built to Last - Melee

I woke up feeling as though I have been pulled apart from limb to limb and then carelessly joined back. My make up was smeared all over my face and sheets. My feet are sore with blisters.

Not the best feeling in the world, I can guarantee you.

As you already know, our prom night got cancelled. But we still made an oppurtunity to head out last night.

Left early with Chui Nee to Parade because she had a free voucher for Shu Uemura make up! And I needed shoes. Faisal gave us a lift there afterwards.

Had dinner at Tony Roma's, by popular demand. The portions were huge and so, I shared a maincourse with Lisa. Got to save up as well. We stayed there talking until about 9.30, I think? I'm not so sure about the time details.

After that, we insisted on leaving. Headed to Rainforest outside Pyramid and lucky us, it was Ladies Night! So free rounds of vodka, gin, rum, whisky and whatever else you can think of. I had a total of four or more glasses I think. I couldn't really remember. We hung out, enjoyed the ambience and music (eventhough half the time it was in another language) and played cards. The boys had to order their own drinks. Hah! But Jojo and Eric got this flaming drink which was super cool! And expensive of course.

An hour and a half later, we were all a little tipsy. Slurring our words around and convincing everyone else that we were not drunk by daring them to ask us any math question. It didn't work out for me of course because I am naturally bad at math.

Like I've said before, I have never gotten drunk. I've never woken up with a bad hangover and could hardly remember what happened the night before. Alcohol just makes me happy. (shit, I'm sounding like an addict) It gives me a feeling of euphoria and it just makes me talk. Alot.

We were indecisive. Some of that didn't want to go to QBar, which was the original plan and some had to leave early. That just made things really hard and complicated. Me and Lisa ended up giggling while racing up the escalator and taking complete of Jojo inside the mall. :)

After much procrastination, we finally settled in Qbar. I suppose we were there a little too early because the place looked deserted. The music was alright until they went into techno. I'm sorry, but that's just not my drift.

We alternated between dancing and drinking and at one point, I had beer splashed all over me. Thanks Lisa. Most of them left before 2 while the rest of us- consisting of me, Lisa, Eric, Jojo, Esther and Kok Seng -stayed on until about 2.30. None of us danced much, which sort of defeated the purpose of us going there. In the end, Lisa and I decided to hit the dance floor and we stayed there for quite a while. It was fun and would be better if my heels weren't eating my feet alive.

Chui Nee and I; Tony Roma's

Lisa

SMILE! (:

Love 'em mirrors.

---------

Had dinner today with a family friend.

My dad took us all the way to Port Klang for their infamous seafood. Picture post. :)

Mantis prawn.

The sea

The food.

The retard.

Creepy.

Yummy.

Classic group shot

No parking!

PS: No updates for the next 5 days. Of to camp, babyy.

2007-12-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

Music: I'm not okay (I promise) - My Chemical Romance

I am in deep regret.

This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not how it was supposed to end.

I planned it all oh-so-finely. I made my choice, convinced that it was the right one. But now, as I look back, I knew I had got it all wrong.

I bet you guys are aching to know what this is about now. Is it about a boy? A relationship that went horribly bad with a friend? A wrong answer to number 2(b) in my Physics paper?

No. I'm sad to say that it is not.

It is of something much deeper and much more meaningful than all of the above. Are you ready for it? Here goes.

I MISSED THE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CONCERT.

I know, I know. You're probably flipping your head, rolling your eyes and maybe even contemplate on stop visiting my blog. But, I don't care. I need to vent out my frustration.

And yes, I have a tendency to blow situations out of porportion and over-dramatize.

I can't believe I didn't listen to that gut feeling. MY gut feeling. The same nagging voice that told me during Biology that the answer was A but I insisted on shading C.

I had full intentions a month ago on attending this concert. Despite the critics, I loved the band. And their older records. Who cares if Gerard was bisexual and wore too much make-up? Who cares if Ray needed a makeover? Who cares if Mikey was married? Okay not really. Damn he's married.

They're still rockstars and as a fan, it is my duty to join the rest of the thousand wailing teenagers there at the disgusting stadium even if the weather was less than permissible.

But I didn't. Instead, I said to myself that I'll save up the money for prom and my future drumset, which was much more important to me.

Well, right now prom is cancelled. And, I'm about to inherit a second-hand drumset- which I am fully and absolutely grateful for- from a friend.

Someone shoot me. I cannot live with myself.

I missed the surge of adrenaline I'd get attending rock concerts. I missed the thumping beat of the bass that blew out through monster sized speakers. I missed the stupid speeches that would be given out by the band just to get the girls screaming even louder. Heck, I even missed the lack of air and the smell of body odour in the moshpit.

*inhales deeply*

Yes, I think I'm done.

I'll take this as a lesson learned. Sorry inner voice of Adelina. I know better now that I should never ignore you.

Well, I'm glad that everyone who went had a blast. And thankfully, Gerard was able to bring to the table what he's supposed to and fulfill everyone's expectations.

2 years ago.

2007-12-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

Music: I won't be having any music for a while.

What a long weekend.

I'm not going to try to make this flattering or poetic in any form. I'll just dive right in.

DAY 1

We had our infamous Port Dickson trip on Thursday. The group consisted of 13 people. 4 girls and the rest were guys. Clearly highly outnumbered. But that's always the case with us.

We left in close to 2 in the afternoon. It had been raining the whole morning and unfortunately, it continued to drizzle throughout the entire journey. Had 3 cars take the whole group there.

Arrived 2 hours later at an awesome apartment/suite place. The pools were amazing and they even had a spa! But that was commonly occupied by the cats that stray by. The rooms were really good. Spacious and very comfortable. Thanks to Gordan and his mom especially for hooking us up with such a good place. :)

We bummed around until it was time for dinner. As usual, the boys were starving. (when are they never?) Had chinese food down the road.

We got to drink later at night. No one got drunk. Had abit of beer and vodka ice. Nothing too serious. We couldn't afford it anyway.

DAY 2

Woke up early, somehow. The plan was to dive into the freezing pool. Crazily enough, I did it eventhough it was my first day of my menstrual cycle. The water was- to no one's surprise -absolutely cold. Had a short game of water polo and them wrestling. Don't ask. It was fun to watch though.

The rest of the day was slow. We were exhausted. Some of us slept. I catched up on reading. In the evening was volleyball. Wasn't too good at that.

Had Japanese for dinner. That left a whole in my purse. Sat out at the balcony of the apartment after everything to talk while sipping beer. Those were good times.

DAY 3

Left earlier than the rest with Jojo, Eric and Kok Seng. Silly ride home. Jojo was tempted to go more than 120 and Kok Seng wasn't helping by always prompting him to do so. Anyways, thanks Jo. I made just in time for choir. Don't know about Eric and his luncheon. Haha.

I'm done with the writing. Pictures are up next!

By our pool.

PD 2007 <3

Posing.

Jojo and his chest.

The only good shot of me and her lying down.

A clearly exhausted Eric.

As a summary, PD this year was good despite the occasional moments of boredome. The late nights and constant football games on the PS2. The gambling and cuddling. The rusted iron kettle and raw eggs for breakfast. Starry skies and cool breezes by the balcony. Freezing mornings and crammed bedrooms.

Defintely a trip worth remembering. :)

2007-12-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

Music: none atm.

I apologize for the sudden lack of daily updates. You wanna know the real deal? The truth behind my brief disappearance?

THE FATHER.

Well, the genius of my family, which is my father, decided to wreck my wireless adapter and now, I can't access the internet via my own computer. I have to be a nomad. Working from computer on to another.

Whaddya I tell ya? Absolutely brilliant isn't he, that man.

Gah. This is so inconvenient. So you guys will have to bear with me. I'll only be able to update when possible.

Moving on, summary of the past 2 days:

Had a sleepover after the movie in Cineleisure. Almost won a trip to Sheraton Imperial. Wasn't lucky enough. Enchanted was awesome although it did get a little too fairytale-ish at certain scenes. Patrick Dempsey :)

Watched tonnes of Grey's when we came home. We shall spread the love. Decided to fall asleep at 4.

Plans to go Parade were stalled when we decided to have lunch at home. They ate all my food and cheese. Crazy piranhas. Chui Nee made omelettes with mushroom and cheese. Looked like crap but apparently it didn't taste that bad.

Proceeded to watch more Grey's before Jing came and then we went to Parade. Were so broke, we had shaved ice for dinner.

Well, that's that.

I'm gonna be so busy in the weeks to come. So much packing and laundry to do. And the cycle repeats itself. Good thing is, it's gonna be alot of fun.

Til the next update.

2007-12-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

Music: Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Have you ever felt torn?

No, not the hearbreak-I-feel-like-my-heart-has-just-gone-into-the-shredder kind. But more like torn in the middle. The I-don't -know-what-should-I-do-and-if-it-is-right.

I'm sorry if I came across as confusing or borderline lunatic. I can't find any other way to phrase the damn sentence. Stupid little brain of mine.

But if you want an insight of how I'm feeling, that line is probably the closest clue you're gonna get.

It's hard for me to make decisions. Especially when I don't know what I want. I'm so indecisive and fickle to a point where sometimes, it starts to get unfair to some people.

This is too vague and I can't get on with it any longer. I really didn't mean for it to sound so melodramatic but hey, almost all my writings are melodramatic right? I just contradicted myself. Way too go, Adelina.

ANYWAYS.

I really have to stop this. It's getting on my nerves.

My day was ordinary. It's a Sunday so what can you expect? My dad is aching to step out of the house but I'm feeling so lazy. I know! I just passed on another chance to go shopping. What is wrong with me today?!

Just finished 2 more episodes of Prison Break. This series really makes you hate the government. It's a good source of fuel for potential rebels. Channels more hatred. But on a more positive aspect of it, the plot is genius and the cast is to die for. (You know who I'm talking about)

The other day, I finished half of season of Grey's. It made my cry like a baby. Almost every episode I could feel the lump in my throat forming and my tear ducts working very efficiently. Love that series. Their direct insults and messy love lives. What would I do without it?

Well, tomorrow promises to be a better day. Wait for the update. :)

2007-11-29T05:29:00.000-08:00

Music: Obvious - Faber Drive

I'm feeling somewhat dizzy and very tired. Maybe I should consider going to bed early. But it just doesn't feel right. Just like how brushing your teeth before peeing doesn't feel right. Well, for me anyways.

I went shopping today. I love the word shopping. It just screams indulgence and sheer bliss. Headed all the way to One Utama with Michelle after lunch. We wasted no time and immediately got to work. Well, I wouldn't call it work per se. More like, we got down to business.

I was there looking around for a dress for prom. Yes, I have finally succumbed to the persuasions of best friends and peers alike. I was initially really hesistant on going but then after all their nagging and advice, I gave in. I guess it is the indirectly our last school party and we should spend it together over dimlights and overpriced tables.

Back on topic, I spent 3 whole hours in One Utama scouting and searching for 'the' dress. I entered countless amount of shops but none would do! They were either too expensive or too mature looking. Some looked so terrible I would never be caught dead wearing that piece of garment. Excessive beads and sequins? Never.

I came to a point where I would rather splurge all the cash I had on a tattoo. Yeah, they have a tattoo parlour over there. But then again, overpriced. And I wasn't sure how well their work would be. So I decided against. If I'm gonna get something permanent on my skin, it better be pretty. Plus the fact that my mom would disown me if I ever made my body an art canvas.

I'll have to wait until after I'm 21.

By 3.30, we decided that we should head on over to the Curve. I was praying so hard that I'd find something there. I instantly fell in love with the place eventhough it was only half filled. Maybe it was the Christmas decorations. Hm, who knows.

Cut the story short, (basically all we did was walk) I finally FINALLY found a dress. It wasn't a love at first sight thing for me (unfortunate right?) but I guess it'll suffice. I won't post a picture of it though. It shall remain a mystery and end up as a surprise on that night. Sounds like a plan. :)

Right now, I'm eager to finish up Grey's and then move on Prison Break. After that, bury myself in books. Story books to be exact. Yes, that is exactly how I intend to spend my holidays. Swooning over McDreamy and weeping over chick-lits.

Ohhh and did I mention? I won 4 invites to the screening of Enchanted at Damansara Cineplex on the 3rd of December. More of Patrick Dempsey. Hey, I'm not complaining.

2007-11-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like laughing. I feel like crying.

I hate haircuts. Especially when they snip off that extra 2 inches that you worked so hard keeping. Within second, it's gone. You can only sit and stare at the horror you've turned into. And then, you wished you hadn't stepped into the shop in the first place.

I tried looking on the bright side, if there even is one. Ruffled my hair so it wouldn't looked so flattened. Within hours, I've turned into one of those flat straightened hair girls that you see oh so frequently to walk the streets of KL with their oversized bags and mini skirts.

There's no turning back now though. I'm stuck with this haircut for the next 3 months. I guess I'll have heed to my mother's advice and force to think that eventually, I'll grow into it.

I'm 15 all over again.
GREAT.

2007-11-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

Music: Decided To Break It - Marianas Trench

I'm so sorry but this place looks ugly. It's so obvious there's no effort put into this skin at all. Plus the fact that I have my older posts showing. Ugh I need a new place. A clean new slate so I can start fresh.

It has been exactly 2 months since I last stopped putting my thoughts on display for the users of the world wide web. Initially, I struggled without having a place to write. With blogging, it has become such a habit for me to randomly form sentences in my head and then make a mental note to include it in my daily posts.

But after a while, the longing just stops. I don't find myself being compelled to write. Right up to now, I find it hard to phrase even a simple sentence. My thoughts are choppy and inconsistent. Hopefully this goes away with time.

The exams are over. That's all I'll say about it. I don't think I'd want to walk down the past 2 weeks all over again. I'm just relieved I get to laze around without feeling the slightest guilt.

I'll stop right here. Too tired to think. But rest assured, updates will definitely be coming sooner than you expect it to come.

Oh and by the way, I decided to put away the chatbox. So just leave me a comment. It'd be much appreciated. Adieu.

my wish

2007-08-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

music: none at the moment

I know this must be my millionth time saying this but I really feel withdrawing myself from the blogging world. Smack a huge hiatus sign here and then come back after everything. I should start taking actions then.

Lately, days have been passing by rather quickly. The minutes tick by so rapidly I can hardly keep up with them. And the worse part is I know I'm far behind schedule. Cramming is my last and final solution. Just hope it works.

School is starting to feel like a ghost town. Students are scarce and those who are present are either asleep or skipping class to hang out by the stairs. Today I entered a class with only a handful of kids. The presence of some people did not make the day pleasant either.

Sometimes being unnoticed feels so much better. It's almost as if you are impenetrable. Stuck in a world of your own where people on the outside can only watch and imagine what goes through that head of yours. Not that they cared.

Why can't I go one day without being misunderstood? I refuse to admit it's my fault. I don't deserve those words because for one, I never said a thing to you. Let's just follow my plan. Lead our lives seperately and when the time comes for us to part, I'll pretend I never knew you. Sounds almost perfect to me. Why'd you have to complicate matters now and claim things which are contarary to my original intentions.

I don't understand it and right now, I don't feel like caring. Nothing I say or do will change your mind, so why bother.

my goodness how the time has flown.

how did it get so late so soon?

let's take it from the top

2007-08-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

Music: "When We Die" - Bowling For Soup

I have exactly 10 minutes to make this post good enough to read. Talk about the pressure. Usually, I'd take my time to pick up my train of thoughts and carelessly string them together into a post. This time, I'll just write for the sake of it. This place has been neglected for far too long.

This is what you get when you're deprived of the basic luxuries of life.

I actually intended for this one to be a little melodramatic seeing as how today was a dreary day. With the constant drizzle of rain and the dark rainclouds that loomed over, the day was a perfect day for someone to feel bad about life.

An optimist would say that today would be the best day to cuddle in bed and snooze, just enjoy life. I obviously am not on the same page as the latter.

I was restless throughout the day. Could hardly digest in whatever I planned to study. In short, I have the attention span of a housefly. Based on that, you should probably guess how much I actually managed to study today.

At this point, I realize that my time is up. Parents can do wonders you know? They can make you feel so special and they can make your life a living hell. Mine just succeeded in doing so. They actually took out the fun in blogging for me.

Right now, I don't feel like writing anymore. Any form of hype or enthusiasm that I once had for this has been sucked out of me, literally.

In conclusion, (who the fuck uses this) my post today is short. Far from satisfactory and almost irrelevant.

caught up in circles confusion

is nothing new

you bleed just to know you're alive

2007-08-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

Music: "Rooftops" - Lostprophets

10.53 and I'm still up on the computer. It's not that I sleep early but it's been so long since I got to type freely on a keyboard (grounded from it at home)

As what my previous post stated, I'm at a sleepover. Which ironically isn't a sleepover at all because we plan to party all night long. Sleep is the last thing on our list.

Just got back from dinner a couple of hours ago. We don't really know where we'll be heading after this. The movies? The bar perhaps? We'll see.

Some of them are gambling but I don't feel lucky tonight. I'd rather save up my money for some really good booze later on. A night to go out and do some proper damage to my precious liver.

I'll be signing off for now. The words seem to get tangled up and I can't string them properly. Annoying the hell out of me. I'll be back when I'm more composed and organized.

---

Scratch the thought of being composed. Just roughly half an hour I was pissed. First immature, then guilty, then just downright angry.

Right now it's 3.58 am and the night is already coming to a close. All thoughts of partying our night away was killed earlier due to some reasons.

I find it funny how when we least expect things, they happen in the most miraculous ways. I've been to tonnes of late night outings and so far all of them turned out awesome simply because they were impromptu in a way. The more we try to plan things out, the easier they fall apart.

I take tonight as an example. We planned and thought of various things we would do. Drinking, dancing, gambling. But none, sadly, sufficed. I felt that we lacked the 'it' factor. The extra kick, the extra scene that would make the night memorable to say the least.

As I was saying earlier, I was pissed. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing where all your emotions decide to kick in at the same time. But I think I do have valid reasons for behaving that way.

I hated the situation I was in. I'm sorry if I'm sounding arrogant but control? The very word does not go hand in hand with me. Is it such a sin if just for once I would some sort of freedom. Just one night for me to get free and lose control without having to think and knowing for a fact that I will be safe after.

Sometimes, I just want to grow up. Experience things that I know it's not right for me. They say that will come in due time but can't I just get a little taste of it now? Most of the time, I feel smothered. And I think many of us do too. So, when an oppurtunity like this comes around, I jump at it and I think it's only sane for me to do so.

Can't we just laugh and act silly and go high and get wasted without so much as to be criticized and judged? What's wrong with just having one night of..escape?

I think I do owe some people an apology. Honestly, I felt guilty for acting so immature when I should've known better. It was selfish and rude for me to act that way, I admit. I take full responsibility and blame for that. Sorry also for not having the guts to say all this to you while looking at you in the eye. This is as close as I get to an apology.

Sooo..Chui Nee's being a mom and bugging me to sleep. WHY CHUI NEE WHY?!?!

Well, I'm forced to leave eventhough I feel I could write a whole lot more but then it'd just be a chore for you readers to read such a long post.

2007-08-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

Everything - Michael Buble

School was such a bore. I know that I most probably shouldn't be saying things like this especially during these times, but it's the darn truth!

I've fallen ill and I've lost my voice. All I'm capable of doing now is croak my way around. Sounds abit pathetic, no? Not to mention how painful it gets when I swallow. Torture =(

Had a short seminar on EST today. The clips were cute. I'm too lazy to elaborate. Spent the rest of the day trying to play the guitar. Somehow, that is the one instrument I can never get the hang of. Struggled from chord to chord which ended up sounding just as bad.

Ah I give up.

I get to attend a sleepover tomorrow! Which will be super fun I'm sure. Girls night out are always always fun. Maybe then I'll get to post a proper entry. My writings these days are so short, even I can't stand to read it.

2007-08-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Music: -

Feeling very relieved at the moment. Deep down, I didn't want it but I was mentally half prepared to accept it.

So right now, thank god for it.

ps: my dad's being a total and complete ass - as always - so it's just this for now.

thanks for the memories

2007-08-06T06:02:00.000-07:00

Music: "Hey there Delilah" - Plain White T's

Somewhere along the likes of ions and radioactivity I zoned off and worked on some random doodles. I started with a plain circle. Round and asymmetrical. While teacher rambled on about how gamma rays would evidently killed you, the circle slowly evovled into a face.

This went on for a good half hour.The "doodle" has now become a rough sketch of whatever that was going through my head. I'm feeling slightly bad right now because I know for a fact I should paying full attention to what he has to say. But today? Today was just distracting for me.

Nonetheless, I still managed to cover one chapter of biology in school. I'll have to continue reading up a few more to keep myself on schedule.

I feel that I've barely said a word to anyone. It's like I'm sort of in my own world, lost in my thoughts. Dreamy almost. I had to put up with a jerk because everyone else thought it would be amusing to see me argue with him.

So I did. Maybe it was in the hopes that this time things would change or maybe I thought this could be my chance of making things better. Also my ego started telling me that I'm too good to just back out of this stupid squabble.

After the first two insults, anger was coursing through me. I thought of the most spiteful and humialiting thing I could possibly say to him. His comeback was no better. They were harsh and blunt. Oddly enough, that's exactly the way I would define him.

In the end, he ended up winning the whole "argument" which personally I thought was shit. I should've won because he kept using the same thing over and over again only in a different phrase.

I didn't regret it. Eventhough I was embarassed beyond belief, I didn't regret the whole stupid fight. The past months had blurred my vision. My view of him was twisted and altered somehow and after this, it was like a slap to the face that screamed 'wake up!'.

This incident justifies all the actions and decisions I've made. In a way, I'm thankful. I know, this might mean I'm a really weird person but that's how I feel. To say I've finally understand things wouldn't be too accurate because I know I've realised it before. Maybe this is just a rude awakening for me. This will bring me back on track and from here on, I'll know where to place my focus.

So thanks for the words spoken. They were supposed to cut right through and scar me but it's safe to say I walked out on you with nothing more than a bruise which in due time, will disappear. In return I gained a much better picture of you. I had a taste of reality - which everyone knows isn't the best thing in the world to experience - but just this time, I'm grateful.

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over.

Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

2007-08-04T05:39:00.000-07:00

The ~~need~~ want.

old habits die hard

2007-08-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

Music: "Planning a prison break" - The Receiving Ends of Sirens

I found it so hard to drag myself out of bed today. The thought of skipping school crossed my mind yet again, even when I've personally promised myself I'd try as hard not to, unless I have a valid reason for it.

Throughout the day I struggled with my Add Math homework. I erased and then proceeded to scribble some mumble jumble on my full-scap paper that was beginning to get sore from all that rubbing. This repeated about 3 to 4 times before I gave up and went to ask someone for help.

Truth be told, I don't think I'll ever be able to get a decent grade for this particualr subject. God, why can't I just nail it?! I'm starting to feel the frustration crawling into my veins; taking hold of me.

Tuition started out well but somewhere along the way, I began to feel agigatated and angry at the fact that I could not figure out some really simple sums. I stared hard into my paper and and wrote the answers down angrily. See what I mean? I'm so impatient. Before this, I couldn't care less but I guess as the dates draw nearer, I realise how important it is.

My mood worsen when I found out it started to drizzle. Rain equals no football which would suck. Thank god it subsided just in time. Went to the field with the usual people. Today was a little less crowded compared to yesterday which is good. The higher the chance for me to actually touch the ball.

We had some biased rules but it's all good because the guys know they're up against us the amateurs. All in all, it was fun. I was in Michael's team (woo hoo!). He makes such a good captain. I still can't seem to kick right and my ball control is pathetic. Jing has a better control than I do and Chui Nee can whack the ball harder than me! I have got to start doing some work.

Despite the 3 or so goals I managed to score - most of them were due to the mistakes from the opposing team - I also earned myself a couple of bruises. The first one was when I fell right on my butt while trying to take the ball and the second one was when I collided straight into Kok Seng in pursuit of the ball once again.

Now he owes me 2 Icy Grapes and Michael owes Chui Nee nata de coco for slamming the ball right into that innocent face of hers. Poor child.

The match sustained right up to 7.30 in the evening. We watched the sky turn from blue to orange to slowly settling into a light shade of pink and it grew dimmer when the sun finally went down. I watched from across the field with a head filled with messy thoughts. I wonder when did I let my guard down and allowed myself to be affected so badly. I thought I'd already cleaned up the mess and threw them far away but little did I know, I managed to leave some debris from the wreck lying around.

That was probably the best set of rambling I've done so far. I'm off to catch up on some reading. Scratch the the thought of doing more Add Math. I'd probably massacred everyone in my house before I'm even done with one set of paper.

you make me smile

2007-08-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

Music: Over It - Katharine McPhee

Yes, it has been AGES. And the last post, wasn't really a post. More of a statement or whatever.

Well, this post will be a real treat because this is gonna be one of the very rare moments where I get to sneak online. My computer - once again - has been taken away from me. Sad? Devastated.

The past week has been regular. Had a few small tests in between. So we had to study for that. Been going to the field alot lately. Had a sudden awakening and realised the importance of being healthy. Not to mention, football is starting to take a special place in my heart already. Love it despite the rough tackles and soaring balls.

I also realised some mistakes I'm so prone to making. When will I ever learn? I guess after this, I'll know better. It's too late to unwind the decisions I've been so persistent with before. Maybe I will have some regrets but I promise to not dwell on them. What's done; done.

Had a couple of misunderstandings as well. Initially, I was shocked. Then confused. And then a little bit angry. In the end, I gave up. Everything pretty much subsided somehow. But still, there was a sense of awkwardness around us. Hope that subsides as well. It would be stupid to focus on our differences and throw the friendship we've built over the years.

Right now, I feel happy. This huge smile that's stuck on my face is revolting yet somehow, I like it there. Gross, no?

You are the only one I'm not disappointing,

But you are the only one who escapes the majority

2007-07-22T04:59:00.000-07:00

Take the pain out of love,

then the love won't exist.

of tequilas and french kisses

2007-07-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

Music: "Rehab" - Amy Winehouse

I'm surprised I'm still able to bring myself up to face the computer. My hands are quivering slightly and my head throbbing from the after effects of alcohol. But, not enough to knock me out completely. I have the resistance as high as the world trade center. I know it's not the best metaphor, shut up.

I am, without a doubt, exhausted. What a long day. I refuse to go through every single detail of the events of the day. That would just be too cumbersome for my poor tired mind. Well, I went out with my girls today to Sunway Lagoon. Jing had some free tickets to this Wet & Wild party organised by 8tv.

It was a gloomy day. Overcast skies and the occasional drizzle of rain was all that was instored for us. Nonetheless, that didn't stop or the other 4815961962 kids from having a good time. Trodded the lazy river, lazed around at the surf pool and sat the ferris wheel!

Exited the place at 6 or so. We were all starving. Hurried onto the chinese restaurant on the top floor and quickly ordered. When the food came, we practically wolfed down our meals. I'm not speaking for myself only right now because I'm pretty sure of how the others were. The guys had to order twice. That should tell you how hungry they were.

Our original plans of watching Harry Potter were crushed when we found out that it was fully booked. Should have known better than to take things for granted. Ah well.

We deviced an alternative plan within seconds. Shisha, here we come! Tried apple and grape flavoured ones. Those things made me a little dizzy but fun to do. Went over to Q Bar which was just beside the sisha place to relax. The ambience there is pretty amazing. Dim lights, comfy chairs, loud music. I'm gonna make my home a replica of that place.

The waitress there- which was always hungry for tips -recommended me some liquor. Now we're talking. Managed to rope in some people to share the drink with me. 10 minutes later, she brought us a clear concoction of everything sinful. Mmm..

Me, Lisa and Chui Nee were able to visit the club inside. Inside was so much better! There was a dancefloor and all. Wicked pretty. We have to hang out there someday. It will be so much fun!

No night comes to an end without some action and drama. Well, not around us at least. But I shall reserve all of that to me. It's not nice splurging everything out.

After all that, I finally discovered something about myself. That liberation is crucial when it comes to me. The thought of being controlled by someone other than myself annoys me. I guess it's pretty safe to say that I know myself better than anyone out there. So don't be so quick to judge. Sure I have my occassional knocks of immaturity and sillyness but I know where I stand.

it seems like we can never catch a break

2007-07-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

Music: "Island" - The Starting Line

I feel so un-functionable without a proper media player. Un-functionble. Is that even a word? Ah see what I mean. I've been in desperate search for an online radio for the past half hour and nothing seems to meet my demand. Dj Rosstar won't work on this stupid computer for God knows what reason.

School was such a breeze. I came to school in my PE clothers which felt odd at first but I slowly got used to it. Had Career Talk throughout the whole day. I found it very useful because finally I know the difference between graphic design and multimedia design. I used to think they were all summed up together as one thing. Turns out I was wrong.

Sadly, the whole talk has left me even more confused. I honestly have no idea what course I should enroll myself in. And the fees are another issue.

I had to sit for an external paper also today. It was an English paper from Australia. By far, that was the hardest english paper I have ever sat for. It featured words like 'epiphany' and 'ambiguous'. I was totally blank. I actually had to re-read the text 3 or 4 times to be able to grasp the complete picture. But honestly, that's how an english paper should be like. Actual words and meanings and texts. Not just analysing a cartoon-like picture and then stating the obvious.

Then again, I realise I'm not in any position to say how things are supposed to be like. There are a lot of things where I personally feel should not be done but people are still doing it. So oh well. I'll just go with the flow.

Had the usual Chemistry tuition. Today's class was pretty fun. Then had mamak session with the guys and I asked Jojo to send me home because he already has his license! I'm so envious. But I'll have to live by parents' rule. No driving until after the exams. Patience is virtue, no?

ps: I finally got to find a decent music source! Purevolume is love. :]

tell me how you lift these heavy bricks

2007-07-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

Music: "Neighbors" - The Academy Is..

With less than 24 hours away from my test, I shift uncomfortably in my seat. The shake and fries I had earlier tries to find its way up my throat but I swallow hard to avoid making a mess.

As you can see, I'm nervous already. Part of me says it will be a breeze but the other side of me doubts the whole of it. I just want to go into the room tomorrow and play without regrets. I know I could've done better if only I'd not taken things for granted.

Save all the complains, I just pray and hope that I'm good enough to pass.

Well, I was thinking today throughout sermon. Today's lesson was like a breath of fresh air for me because for a change, we had a young speaker. So yeah, I could totally relate.

But anyways, I was thinking. As he was going on about how the world's always there to point out our faults, I can't help but thinking that we're always living to please people. That I'm always living to please people. Somehow, the saying Live for Yourself can never apply to me. I feel like I'm always doing things for someone other than me.

I'm not so sure if I can ever accomplish something solely for me. Just one thing, no matter how small or big it is, that will make me happy and satisfied with myself.

I’m a mess inside, a tangled network of nerves and bone.

-Ronnie Day

With the strength of all convinced

2007-07-10T05:39:00.000-07:00

Music: -

I'm lacking music. My dad's comp has nothing but rubbish on it. Not even one decent tune. All that I have right now is the one line from the song Beautiful Girl. I think that's what it's called. It's not helping much either because when a song's stuck in your head, it's on repeat.

Lately, I've been feeling really stressed out. Particularly the past 2 days or so. I think the pressure of the examination is FINALLY getting to me. It's not fun, I tell ya.

My mind doesn't want to shut off. It's always thinking of things. So many "what if's.." For example, what if I suddenly forget my scales during my piano exam or what if I don't get enough sleep the night before SPM and I fall asleep during the paper.

And also I'm so worried about time. Time is the key factor right now. All we need is time. It's ironic how about 2 months ago I was just telling myself that I still have time. But when reality smacks you right in the face, you realise how wrong you were. How so very wrong.

A time machine showing up at my doorsteps right now would come in handy. Scratch handy, it would save my life and many others as well. But alas, time machines only exists in my imaginations or in popular tv series.

I honestly don't know where this is going. This probably is the first time I'm blogging straight from my mind without any proper structuring.

Like I've mentioned before, I guess this will be my last hurdle. People around me tell me I'm going to make it and that sometimes I'm just underestimating myself. They say that I can do better.

Well, I'll say that you guys are overestimating my capabilities. I'm not tough, strong, hardy. I don't carve myself in stone. I'm not one that handles emotions well. On the contarary, I crack under pressure just like any other piece of glassware out there. I get my emotions mixed up all the time which then only results in me being confused and feeling even more pressured.

Truth be told, I'm actually scared. I'm so uncertain of how things will turn out that I'd rather expect the worst than believe in the word called hope. Or luck for that matter. I hate disappointments, so why allow myself to even make room for it?

That's how I am. I take the chicken way out just so I'm able to protect myself. I won't lie to you or myself; I'm a coward. That's all there is to me.

2007-07-08T01:45:00.000-07:00

Music: -

It's a Sunday. What a perfect time for me to start blogging.

And while I'm writing, I have the perfect background sound: my mom's constant nagging. I am this close to exploding and start yelling back at her.

She.is.such.a.pain.

If murder wasn't a crime, she'd most probably be on my list.

*takes a deep breath*

I don't understand why I can't even just take half an hour off and just do something I actually like. Something not beneficial like blogging (to her it's not). But nooo, to her the weekends are God's given blessing for us to study even harder and make booklets after booklets of History notes.

If I were to ramble on about this, it'd take days to cover the entire thing. So, I'm tuning off right about...now.

The week was okay. Every week that passes by just becomes like a marker for me to mark down how many more weeks until doomsday. A reminder of how I'm this much closer to the examination.

Why do I get the feeling that I'm starting to sound like my mom. Reminding you guys of how SPM is just lurking around the corner.

Alright, no more talk about tests or studies.

So right now we have our own xsLf group on Friendster. It started of as a random idea that quickly became something so cool to play with. I'm fascinated by all the cute smileys on there.

All you "fans", join it alright :)

2007-07-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

Music: -

I think I'm gonna be taking another hiatus soon, again. I don't know but this blogging thing is starting to wear on me. I still like writing no doubt, but lately I don't have the drive to keep updating this thing. Especially with the exams drawing closer, a blog is the last thing that should be on my to-do list.

Well, I'll just see how things turn up.

A brief run through of the events that happened over the past two days.

Saturday I finally sat for the theory part of my driving test. I passed right on the dot. Got a 42/50 which I am very very thankful for. It was harder than I expected especially the last 7 questions or so. Glad all that's over with.

Sunday, which is today, was a usual Sunday for me. I woke up pretty early for no reason and we still didn't get to church on time.

I heard that I'm gonna be having another test in two weeks time. Guess I'm supposed to start panicking, huh? 4 more months and this will all be over.

This will be the most stressful 4 months of my life.

do you want to learn to fly?

2007-06-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

Music: "Sing me to Sleep" - Waking Ashland

Yet another band hits MTV this time. Another radio station blaring their tunes probably about 5 times a day. Another member in that band gets to be the next Pete Wentz with tons of underage girls flashing at him.

My god do I sound bitter.

Well, I've learnt to just suck it up and get over it. It'll happen sooner or later. They deserve all the credit they can get because

1) They are an awesome band.
2) Refer to #1

Congrats Boys Like Girls! You finally made it across the Pacific.

I finished Prison Break! To be honest with you, I didn't like the ending. They should've just gotten on the damn plane. But contarary to what most people believe, I'm actually really looking forward to season 2. I know that it'll most probably be a little less exciting seeing as how they've already achieved the main purpose of the show but this is where the romance and tragedies kick in. I'm hella excited.

I managed to watch one episode of season 2 online and I really liked it. I think the chemistry between Scofield and Dr. Tancredi is just so strong. I mean, you can actually feel it radiating from the screen. It's so deep and intense; it simply amazes me.

I didn't go to school today and this time around, I did get to haul my lazy ass into doing some work. Did about an hour's worth of Add Math (not much but it's something) and then a little bit of chemistry. I have to start reading up for my undang cos I don't want to postpone it again. It'll be such a hassle.

When I went for tuition, I found out that I have a love letter coming my way and it's from my dearest disciplinary teacher (I actually cringed when I typed that) After 11 years of education, I finally am going to receive a warning letter for none other than skipping too much of school. Something tells me today will be last time I'll be able to stay home on an account of "feeling tired".

Met up with Gordan at Maju after tuition. I feel somewhat bad for not replying his text message last night. Kok Seng treated me to a disfigured ice-cream and then we went home.

Had extra piano lessons during the night. We just had to do aural so no sweat there. 2 weeks until judgment day. Not fun, people.

2007-06-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Music: "I don't love you" - My Chemical Romance

I am in serious need of some reading material. I really need to get myself a whole new set of books and start reading. I miss it so much. Book shopping soon, I hope.

I've been reading writings and simple musings of others and I myself am disappointed with the way I write. I read what I write and then I read what they write and realise mine is total crap compared to theirs. It crushed me a little but more than that, it made me want to improve.

School was the usual. I paid attention most of the time but decided to cut the act during the last 4 periods. Ended up talking and then admitting something to Chui Nee. I don't know how it led to that but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Plans of me practicing the piano quickly ran down the drain the moment I got my hands on my computer. Seriously, I need to get some composure and think straight. Prioritize they call it. My piano exams are less than 3 weeks away and here I am playing on the keyboard rather than on the piano.

I have a bad feeling about this year's examination. I don't think I'll be able to make it through this one. After this hurdle, I'll have to start thinking on whether it's worth it for me to keep continuing this. Sigh

Well, I ended up chatting online the whole afternoon. That's probably one of the last things I should do at this moment.

Yet again, I find myself being complacent.

2007-06-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

Music: "Wreck of the day" - Anna Nalick

The splinter I had in my foot made me go through a lot of pain. Thus, I am sad eventhough I already got it out. It was mortifying. I can stand any other kind of pains like bruises or cuts. But I just can't take splinters!

Well, I spent the whole of yesterday doing absolutely nothing- and yesterday was a Saturday. Basically, my whole day revolved around the computer and the television. Did nothing productive at all.

The best part was my folks were out for the day. Could've gone somewhere with people but it was too late of a notice.

Popped in Prison Break season 1 that my friend lent me and I was instantly hooked on it. I watched like half the season in one night. I can honestly say that that show is the bomb.

Usually I don't go for shows that lack ~~sex scenes~~ romance, but this is seriously an exception. The storyline is superbly written and not to mention totally original. The show is so intense. Every single move, every stare, every word that comes out of his mouth just leaves you hanging.

There were multiple occasions where I just wanted to murder the producer for making it that way but as I continued watching, I realised it only made the show even more interesting. It just reflected his pure creativity and imagination. The best part of it was that everything happened in a real way. Nothing in that show was too hard to believe.

I know that most of the people that watch a movie or a series like these just takes it as it is. But for me, I find it so much than "just a show". Take Prison Break for instance, for some girls it's all about Wentworth Miller and all that comes along with him and for the rest, it's for the thrill and suspense.

For me, I feel like this show is trying to send a message. Like there's an underlying storyline. A different point than just eye candy. I have never agreed with the thought of hanging a man as a form of punishment much less electrocute him. I seriously think this form of punishment should be abolished. I'm fine with the idea of locking him up for life and when the time comes, he dies naturally. But when we execute someone else, be it a criminal, isn't that titled as murder as well? We're not in any position to put another man to death. Judgment does not lie in our hands. We're humans too and we make mistakes.

My point is made so inevitably clear in this series.

How can we live in a world like this? In such a perversed generation. If you were a character in that series, who will you turn to? There's absolutely nobody you can trust and every move you make will most probably be a step closer to your dying day.

Am I talking too much? Yeah, I'm talking too much. But hey, that's me. Everything around me influences me in one way or another and I have opinions on almost everything- which isn't necessarily good.

I over analyse and sometimes I overreact. I should really think of stopping huh? Or maybe, try becoming a politician so I can talk and walk at the same time, instead of just talking. But I'm too scared, timid they say. Maybe my own thoughts on how the world should be like are only made for myself and the few people that actually take the time to read this online journal of mine.

I hope I don't get into any trouble for expressing such ballistic thoughts.

2007-06-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

Music: "Five minutes to midnight" - Boys Like Girls

I decided to postpone my test to next weekend. I figured that there is no way in hell I'm going to pass it when I have not studied one bit and the only thing I know about road rules is that you're supposed to accelerate when the traffic light turns yellow.

So last night I had a small outing to Summit. Watched Surf's Up. It's yet another penguin moviee. I think the world or at least the people at those animation studios have got a weird obsession with penguins. Not that I'm complaining, I think penguins are absolutely adorable.

I was completely broke yesterday. No, being broke would be an understatement. I went out without a single cent in my purse and the stupid ATM machine would not give me any money! I had to end up lending money from people. Sounds so sadd.

Had dinner at a small shop beside the Garden Cafe. The owner there was really nice. He gave us like 2 sets of toasted bread and said it was one the house. Of course some people had to take advantage of that and asked for one more.

After that, I think we took about 15 minutes figuring out how to fit 10 people into a Volvo. Evidently, we couldn't. So Faisal had to make two trips.

Spent about an hour there before my dad started calling. Discussed about multiple issues with the guys. It almost got a violent but thank god they came to their senses.

2007-06-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Music: "On Top of the World" - Boys Like Girls

Wow.

What a night. But before I get into that, I'll start from the top.

Got to skip school on the reason that today was the teacher's day celebration in my school. Bullshit. There was no celebration whatsoever.

Managed to sleep in until about 10. Did some adjustments on the senior page and then I went to print the pages out. Gonna have to show it to the whole class tomorrow. I hope they like it because I think it kicks ass. The only problem was I forgot to copy the set of fonts together so it came out differently on paper. But other than that, everything's a-okay.

Had the chemistry tuition after. Sat for the test which was rubbish because I was only able to scrape up a miserable 49 for it. It wasn't that hard. If only I had put in a little more effort.
Hung out with Kok Seng, Gordan, Chong and Jamie at Maju after that. Those guys are such asses. Especially Kok Seng. He talks about the weirdest things. Not to mention how lame it gets after a while. Walked home with them at about 5.30.

Had a dinner date with my parents tonight along with my mom's friend. Decided to go to TGIF. It's the first time I've stepped into that place and I loved the deco in there. And their uniforms were so much fun to look at. All the flashy badges and striped shirt.

Ordered alot of food. Their portions were huge. I'm still feeling so stuffed right up to now.
I was eating my dessert when suddenly one of the waiters came with a piece of cake and a pepper shaker? Instantly I knew what was coming at me.

So they asked me to stand on the chair and then they handed me the pepper shaker which was now an imaginary microphone. I was told to either sing a song or give a speech. My brain wasn't functioning properly and so, I decided to SING!

I hesistated for a couple of minutes cos of the sudden embarassment but in the end I picked Backstreet Boys. As long as you love me, babyyyy...

Then it was their turn to sing. Very fun. So much fun. Probably too much fun. I wouldn't mind working there, really. They stomped and clapped and cheered. I was grinning from ear to ear.

It was a great first experience for me. Thankyou mom and dad!

happy (belated) birthday to meee...

2007-06-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Music: "One by One" - Simple Plan

I sincerely apologize for the lack of bloggage. It's just that lately I don't have the urge to pen my thoughts or feelings down. Or it could be that I do not know how to.

Last week was rough for me. Most of you would have already known about it. The weekend was harder but I know I can only seek solace and strength from one source. I'm thankful for that and I pray that many more will find the same peace I do in time.

I celebrated my 17th birthday yesterday. Time does fly, doesn't it? Being seventeen marks the start and end of alot of things for me. First of all, I'm finally at the right age to get my driving license! It also means that I have to grow up and take up much more responsibilities for myself. No more goofing around. At least not until the end of my examinations.

Well, my friends have been such dears. They decided to go on with the customary water splashing, flour pouring session. So yes, I got dumped with flour, water and ice-cream. Gosh I feel like a damn cake. It was proper disgusting. I had bits and pieces of flour stuck in my hair and ice-cream smeared all over my face.

I'll think twice before I decide to do that on someone next time

...NOT. It's too fun for me to give it up!

We headed to Maju for lunch because all of us were too broke to afford some other place. Thank god no curry was involved the whole time we were there. I seriously wouldn't know what to do if they had decided to dump curry on me. Probably spend about 2 hours in the shower and then another hour in the tub. *shudders*

Anyways, we were there right up to 4.30. The conversation mainly revolved around muscles and Lisa? haha.

Chui Nee came over after 8 to continue working on the Senior Page. It is so time consuming. Up to now, we're still not done with it. My parents were making such a big deal of out my birthday than I am of it. I mean it does matter to me but I'm mostly just feeling rather non-chalant about it.

But again, thanks to everyone who remembered it. It would definitely suck if no one remembered your birthday. Thanks youu guuuuuysss. :)

Today was rather pleasant. Didn't have any heavy subjects so it was pretty relaxing. Chui Nee came over again after school to you know what. Had drum class and this week I have advanced to Grade 2. One grade, one week. Wow I don't know if I can handle myself. But I think it's quite impressive. I know I'm just flattering myself but let me have my moment, will you?

Currently I have no clue on what phone should I get. I still have a thing for Razr's but I'm open to any other suggestion. So if you have any pointers, do tell.

2007-06-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

Music: -

What do you do when you're gripped with the death of a friend? Do you grieve or do you rejoice?

It's a question I have yet to answer. I'm struggling with it, so badly.

Woke up today only to be greeted by a really unpleasant text message. Reached school and I couldn't control my emotions any longer. It is so easy to tell when I'm having a rough time. It's like everything I do just screams "I'm not okay".

Gordan came over and managed to knock some sense into me. He pointed out a few things that left me thinking. Maybe there is some good that will come out of this. If that is so, I'm still looking for it.

I can't even begin to comprehend the feeling that takes over me everytime I start to think of it. I imagine what it would be like if I had done this before or if only I had the chance in the future to do it. There are so many things I could say and do for him.

Looks like this is just the beginning for me. I have to start getting used to the ways of life. People come, people go. Live with it. Maybe we're all growing up you know? Maybe we're beginning to experience what's it really like. What a loss feels like. What real heartaches are about.

School wasn't all that good. It started to rain during the 3rd period. That was a great help to my mood. I got some tests papers back which was utterly disappointing to my standards. I expected more, alot more.

Right now, I hope I'll be able to secure a decent positioning in class.

Well, I'll be attending my 5 hour driving lecture thing tomorrow. Maybe I could like get a seat at the back and just stick with my mp3 player and text away. Just occasionally look up and pretend to get what's going on. Hmm, doesn't sound to bad, now does it?

After that I'll be going down to Seremban again for the memorial service and funeral. I don't know if I can go through the whole thing.

welcome to the planet,

welcome to existence.

2007-06-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

Music: "May Angels Lead You In" - Jimmy Eat World

I feel so completely shaken up right now. I have a feeling that the months are gonna be the worst months of my life. So many expectations to meet.

So far, I've gotten 8 of my mid-terms papers back. Failed one of them, no surprise there. You'd probably guessed it already.

As for the rest, they were okay. Some of them were the marks I had expected to get, some abit more. But I was a little letdown by one or two. Nevertheless, I think the damage this time around won't be as bad as the previous one.

No studies whatsoever at school today. Most of the teachers are rushing with the papers and then getting ready to meet the parents in about 3 weeks time. Yeah, it's a big deal to them. Angry and unsatisfied parents are what they're trying to avoid. We on the other hand can only pray the parents don't come home feeling like that.

I was moody today in school and it was obvious to everyone around me eventhough I tried giving the toothpaste commercial smile.

A few of them knew what happened yesterday. And what I'm refering to was when I walked out of chemistry class (of course with teachers consent) to go down to Seremban and visit James.

Well, he's still in a coma and they can't do any tests or scans on him because his blood pressure and sodium level seem to be fluctuating. (Just pretend you get it) He's in ICU so that pretty much says everything. Alot of machines were attached to him and it was scary.

But most of all, I felt so sad just seeing him lie there while his mom keeps crying with every new visitor that comes by. The only thoughts that were running through my head the whole time was "God if you're there, answer me and bring him back up."

Anyways, today in class I told some of the guys about him and suddenly Michael just asked all of us to pray. At first I thought he was kidding but he really went on with it. So it was like me, Michael, Gordan and Trevor at the back of the classroom holding hands and praying! Which was kind of awkward at the start but after that I took it seriously.

I was surprised initially but it made me realise how supportive my friends are of me. And of James. So even the more reasons why he should wake up and just come back to all of us. I pray again and again that God will have mercy and give him a second chance. He deserves it so badly.

keep holding on

you know we'll make it through

2007-06-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

Music: -

I'm physically and emotionally drained.

I'm not prepared for this, just not.

I just have one wish and one wish only; bring him back.

I know YOU can.

2007-06-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

Music: -

My whole day has been a blur and right now I'm feeling low, anxious, nervous, afraid, regret; all at the same time.

Managed to skip school today because I was too tired. So I overslept. Thankfully, my mom let me off easy this time around.

Woke up close to noon. Spent nearly an hour randomly switching from channel to channel. One moment it was Oprah and the next I was watching Adam Levine strut his stuff in their latest video, which I must say is very hot.

3 o'clock was drum class. I'm proud to say I've upgraded from a beginner to Grade 1. Doesn't sound too impressive but I'm excited to learn more. If only I could say the same about my piano lessons. Teacher will be very disappointed if she hears me say this.

Chui Nee came over at 5 to continue working on the Senior Page. Even with a few interruptions in between, we still managed to finish close to 3 pages of it. We're down with one more page and then we're done! So far it looks good. I'm happy with it. It's exactly how I pictured it to be, so hopefully it'll look the same after printing.

I received alot of text messaged today from friends everywhere. They all asked for the same thing, which was prayer.

I wish I was there right now. I know I might not be of any help and I doubt if I can even comfort the family because I can't even handle myself. But if there's one thing I want to tell him, it's that there are so many people waiting for him to pull through and get better.

Just imagine the number of things unsaid, the hello's and goodbye's we never shared. And what about the late night laughs at church camps that are to come?

To be honest, I've never dealt with a real loss in my life and this time around, eventhough I didn't know him that well, I feel that he's someone that means alot to me. To the people around me.

Well, the doctors have sedated him for 48 hours. But they say he's going to die and that it's just a matter of time. They said his injuries were too severe and even if he did survive, he might not be the same person we all know.

I'm still hoping for a miracle. That all our prayers will reach up to heaven and I'm praying that God will hear us.

I never said thank you for that,

I hope I still have the chance.

2007-06-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Music: "Your Guardian Angel" - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Does it scare you that people leave just like that?

Be it permanently or temporarily, they still leave. And whether or not you'll see them again is debatable. Sometimes, fate butts in and then you happen to catch them while you're out getting coffee or doing grocery. But what about the other times?

Sometimes the only way you're gonna be able to "meet" that person again is by touching the cold tombstone of their grave. You close your eyes and begin to reminisce the moments you personally shared. Be it briefly or a whole lifetime. One thing's for sure, they meant something to you. They had a place in your heart, enough for you to recollect those memories with them.

Someone texted me about 2 hours ago telling me of the accident that came upon my friend. Funny thing is, I misunderstood the message in the beginning. I never really thought things like these happened to me. I don't get text messages or calls from someone telling me that my friend is right now in the hospital suffering multiple serious injuries.

I'm not in a movie. No, I'm not a Hollywood star though right now I sure as hell wish I was. I didn't know how to take the news. Things like this don't just happen!

Right up to now, I'm still trying my level best to digest all of it.

I didn't know him personally. I was closer to his brothers but not him, I don't know why. But I'm going to believe that I will have the chance to do so.

People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Well, I beg to differ. I don't need him to be gone before I realise how important he is. I think the same thing applies to everyone who knew him.

And to all reading this, he's called James. He's only 18. Just take a moment to pray, even if you don't know what he looks like or how he sounds because honestly, he's too young and too full of life to be gone.

I pray tonight you'll be alright,

That God will send his angels to guide you through the night,

I pray tonight you'll be alright; you will.

2007-06-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

Music: "I'll stand by you" - Carrie Underwood

Yay, a meaningful post finally.

On Wednesday, me and my family took off to go to Bukit Tinggi for a short holiday. The architecture and landscapes up there were beautiful. So many pretty flowers and fountains.

The only bad point is that there wasn't much to do there. I visited a Japanese Tea Garden and the Rabbit Farm. That was about it. Horseback riding was out of the question because it was too expensive but it would have been such an experience.

At night, we played Monopoly up to 1 in the morning. Seriously that game is so stressful. You can just lose all your money in one round. Kinda sounds like reality, don't it?

See the number of houses on the board. Killer.

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.

Oohh and I finally got to snap a few close up pictures. Focus on the foreground and blur the background. Success!

I came back late Thursday afternoon and then I was faced with handling 3 girls.

Chui Nee came first followed by Karyn and then Lisa.

We went out for dinner at the Fish Head restaurant near my house. Our first chinese dinner togetherrr! And then we decided to bake, so we got whatever we needed from Chui Nee's place (her house is like a mini bakery) and then headed home.

Waited for Jing to drop by. She was gonna bake the cake with us. It was some Hot Fudge Chocolate Cake. Sounds very inviting, no?

Well, we did exactly what the miserable sheet of paper told us to do and we ended up getting a batter that has about same consistency as Milo panas. I think we must have put it one too many cups of hot water. I was very doubtful as to whether the cake would actually bake or not. But Chui Nee told us to have faith and so we dumped the whole thing into the oven and whatever happens, happens.

While waiting for it to be ready, we settled ourselves down and watched the Pursuit of Happiness. Starring Will Smith and his own son, Jaden.

The show was very close to real life. It really depicts life when you're broke. But perserverance will get you through. It was an inspiring show to me and not so much of emotional. Just maybe certain scenes. All in all, I think it's a good movie and a must watch.

40 minutes and one movie later, we rushed out of the room to check on our cake. Physically, it looked pretty decent. The liquid batter had now turned into something more or less solid and it looked edible to all of us. We had trouble getting it out of the pan so we took a spoon and literally spooned the cake out.

We added ice-cream and chocolate sauce to it and dug in.

The taste? Let's just say it wasn't the kind of taste we were expecting. To all of you lucky readers who did not have the oppurtunity to taste, it basically tasted like jelly. Not as smooth but somewhere along that lines.

Conclusion was we made a chocolate jelly cake. Which didn't taste that bad after mixing it with tonnes of vanilla ice-cream. We moved on to Campbell soup after that. Something easier to cook with a guaranteed taste.

Went up to my room at about 3, I think. Snapped alot of photos, as usual. Lazed around and talked. Took turns in using the computer.

And then there was a period of time where I had the sudden urge to do something really illegal. Karyn suggested sneaking out but it was too risky. Alcohol was out of the question because both my parents were around. In the end, all I did was sneak into my dad's room and switched on the internet line. Felt so satisfied after that.

I love my dog. Chui Nee loves my dog. Karyn & Lisa has to love my dog.

Rock chick!

We finally knocked off at 5. Slept all the way up to 11 and then Jing came again to meet up with us for lunch in Taipan. Went to Logenhaus. The set lunches there are reasonable.

Walked over to McD's to hang out. Lisa and Jing had to leave early so it was down to the 3 of us. We stayed on until 5. Tried shopping for some clothes but didn't find anything nice.

Black & white is the shit.

Walked all the way home and it was drizzling. It should have just poured. Then it would be fun but then again also kinda stupid.

If it's one thing I realised during this sleepover, its that I would trade the world for these bunch of girls. Yes, I realise that sounded really corny but it's the truth. Oh and one more thing is that Karyn really doesn't know how to eat properly.

I'm exhausted now and I have to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow because I have some wedding to attend. Plus, I have not studied one bit for my Chemistry and Biology exam on Monday. What joy it is going to be tomorrow.

2 more days and then school reopens. Time passes by too fast, it's crazy. With every second that goes by, I'm that much nearer to it. I don't think I'll be allowed out anymore. My parents would want me to focus and start studying. I can feel the pressure already.

Does grandma like Google?

2007-06-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

Music: "Franklin" - Paramore

As usual, I find the first steps towards documenting part of my everyday regime into this so called online journal the hardest.

I usually take about 3 to 4 minutes typing and deleting before I am satisfied with it and then proceed on to talking about things that are absolutely boring.

Thankfully today, my day got a little spiced up. But let's go into that later.

Last night, I braved myself and sat down through an entire horror movie. To those who know me well enough, they would most definitely know how afraid I am of horror movies. Especially Japanese/Korean ones. Where the ghosts in there have pale skin, long trails of black hair that hangs across their face. Then they pop up out of nowhere and try to devour your brains.

I'd better stop writing before I start to imagine things.

Back to the point. I watched An American Haunting last night and it was scary! Yesterday reminded me why I'm so afraid of movies like that. Needless to say, I ended up sleeping with my mom.

I woke up today and watched another movie titled Kids in America or something like that. The story talks about a group of kids in a certain high school that went against their principle because she too much of a dictator. There was no room for freedom of speech and students would get suspended for the silliest reason.

A few scenes from that show reminded me of my very own school, where sometimes, teachers don't listen to us. They treat us like 6 year olds, thinking we don't have a mind of our own. But they forget that we're almost adults now and if they only took the time off to hear us out, we might not react so negatively towards them.

Drum class was at 3 and today I learned about apples and watermelons. A new way to approach drumming.

Met up with my girlfriends at Maju after that. We were there for about close to 3 hours. Did what we do best; talk. They make my world go round, man. Every minute I spend with them is nothing but pure fun. Whether we're arguing or gossiping or laughing at one another. They are by far the best group of girls I will ever come across.

And I FINALLY figured out the silly grandma riddle thing that Karyn gave. Now we're gonna torture everyone by asking them the same question. ;D

It saddens me a little bit I'm only left with about 5 months with them. After that, who knows what the future will hold for the 5 of us. Will we even remember each other's name 20 years from now?

2007-06-04T03:27:00.000-07:00

Music: "Dance Floor Anthem" - Good Charlotte

Well at least a quarter of my job is done.

Me and Chui Nee spent about 2 days desaturating everyone's picture for the class page. For those of you photoshop illiterates, desaturate means turning the picture into black and white. We're trying to achieve that professional look. ;]

All that's left now is making the captions and laying them out.

We woke up late today. Didn't do much the past two days. Just lazed around and went online. Mostly to finish up the work, as mentioned before.

I will be going to Bukit Tinggi on Wednesday. My dad insists on going for a holiday. Jeez, I don't know why he can't just stay home and save up the money for other better things. Like, donating it to me so I can go shopping. Much better idea, don't you think?

But anyways, I'll be gone for one night. God knows what am I gonna do there.

One week of holidays down. I really don't feel like going back to school.

Adelina the Ang Moh Stalker

2007-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Music: Augustana - "Boston"

Chui Nee's nagging me about the senior page right now. Why did we even volunteer to do it?! But no matter, I will put my heart and soul into it and make it look good. =)

Onto the ramblings of the day then.

Today I woke up early. I seem to be waking up early almost every day, but trust me, it was not to my intend to do so today. Who in the right frame of mind would wake up at 6.30 on a Saturday morning?

Well, I owe Chui Nee an apology for having to drag her along with me. Poor girl.

We loaded up by 7.15 and headed towards Kuantan. Mission? To visit the elephant sanctuary.

Arrived there at about 10.30 am. Quickly registered and headed to see the elephants! I never found them very interesting and I still don't. Hmm.. But they're one of the nicer wildlife's around.

First elephant in we saw!

From left to right: Calvin, Me, Dexter and Chui Nee

We were gonna get up close and personal with them giants.

We fed the elephants some sugar canes. They were massive, weighing up to 4 tonnes each. But it was kinda sad to see them in chains.

Dumbo in reality. Yeah, no long flying ears okay. Sorry to burst your bubble kids.

The next show was at 2 and we had about 3 hours to spare.

3 extra hours. A remote tropical jungle. NO PHONE SIGNAL.

All this totaled (?) to 2 very bored teenage girls. We walked up and down and round and round and could not find anything to do. In the end, we resolved to munching on junk food. Not the wisest or healthiest thing to do. Desperation does things to people.

In the meantime, we snapped some pictures.

Finally, 2 o'clock came around but we were to tired to even bother about bathing the elephants or riding them for that matter.

First of all, we only get to go in a small circle and the line was as long as the lines in Carrefour on a Saturday. Not the best metaphor to use, but I'm rather drowsy right now, so bare with me.

After that, we witnessed this white guy bathing the elephant. He had the privilege of going first. Some might say he's lucky but I think otherwise. Out of nowhere, we saw lumps of...shit, floating in the river. Okay fine, I'll be a little less crude and use the term elephant faeces instead.

But yeah, they started floating around in the river while they were trying to give it a bath. Talk about disgusting! That immediately made me think twice about wanting to bathe the elephants.

Trying to pull off sad cos it was too hot.

While waiting for some other things to happen, I spotted a cute guy! =O He really is cute but muscular. You should've seen his pair of guns. Freaky.

Cute caucasian guy. Ignore the girlfriend.

Grew tired of waiting. And the hot weather was not helping. We resulted in getting Cornetto's and 100 Plus. Yummeh. Been a while since I last ate ice-cream.

After the whole elephant thing, we moved on to play with deers. Thank god deer droppings are about 10 times smaller than elephant ones.

But they were really nice animals. Very approachable. We fed them turnip/potatoes. That was fun. There was also a Sunbear that was drinking Sprite. Go figure.

This is Smith the deer; up close.

On the way home, the whole conversation in the car was about That 70's Show. Now I'm seriously thinking of downloading the show.

US of A

2007-05-31T04:22:00.000-07:00

Music: Paramore - "Misery Business"

I have about half an hour to blog about today and yesterday before I go off to tuition.

It's starting to become a habit of mine, blogging about two days in one post.

Had the small party yesterday; as mentioned in the previous post. The one I was contemplating about. So in the end I went.

Met up with Chui Nee after her Chemistry class and then I went back to her house to wait for Lisa to fetch all of us.

We were the first to arrive. So we looked around and surveyed the house. It was a simple house. Very little deco and the walls were all painted with either shades of red or orange.

The air in there was so stuffy. And I was smart enough to wear black. Long-sleeved black. Torture.

People starting pouring in by 8.30 and then we gambled, drank etc. The usual things we'd usually do.

I don't really want to elaborate much on it. It's just a party and I had my fair share of fun. Case closed.

Today I woke up earlier than usual. Spent the whole morning online. Hah surprise surprise.
In the afternoon, I went out with my mom to PJ to run some errands and on the way home, she decided to go register my undang for me.

In about a week's time, I'll have to go through the same ordeal Karyn did. :]

Alright that's all.

teenage vow in the parking lot

2007-05-30T02:15:00.000-07:00

Music: Fall Out Boy - "Thanks for the Memories"

I will not underestimate my spelling abilities by spelling the the song the way those bunch of freakshows did.

Don't get me wrong, I think Fall Out Boy is absolute love. But little things like the very existence of Pete Wentz and the fact that he has look-a-like's of himself jumping around in the video just annoys me.

Maybe I shouldn't feel so strongly against him. All he wants to do is make a living doing the thing he does best; ~~porn~~ making music.

So yesterday I went to watch a musical called Cheng Lock. It's a Malaysian production. A theatrical perfomance depicting the life of our late Tun Tan Cheng Lock. It was purely historical and might not be every 17 year old's cup of tea but I found the show pretty satisfying.

Although we have not yet mastered the art of making live music, the surrounding speakers and audio enhancers provided quite a mind blowing perfomance. Other things like props and stage coordination was excellent. I must say, I'm rather impressed by the whole show. Of course it was in Bahasa and there were some really weird scenes.

But all in all, Malaysia Boleh!

...okay. That was weird especially when it comes from me.

Well after the show, the cast came out to sign some autographs. I got to take some pictures with them. And oohh, I met Jalalludin Hassan. Yeah, the guy from 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'.

Whatever.

I woke up too early today. Too early for my own good. And for what? Chemistry tuition. Gosh, I think she works harder than all of us put together.

Had the monthly test and I scored a poor 24%. No one else to blame but myself because admittedly, I did not study one bit. But thank god, I wasn't the lowest. So, I won't be expecting any phone calls from her in the near future.

I'm off to attend a party after this. Which personally I think I should not.

I know you'll only hear this in movies but honestly, it's complicated.

Actually not really. It won't be complicated if I don't want it to be. It can simple and clear. Straight to the point. Period. But somehow, it isn't.

Goshdarnit, I don't know what situation I want to be in. I know what I want but I'm not willing to let it happen.

And there you go ladies and gentlemen, that's Adelina at her best. Insecure and indecisive.

*takes a bow and the velvet curtain closes*

Toph-anatic

2007-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Music: Dashboard Confessional - "Stolen"

Alright, so I am this close to getting obessive over Topher Grace.

Can you blame me for it? Honestly, can you?

Somehow, I can foresee how I'm going to spend the rest of holidays.

Eyes glued to the computer screen. Scanning through countless pictures of him. Just like what I did today, well most of the day.

I wouldn't mind, if only it didn't bring harm to my vision.

3rd day of hols and I'm feeling rather aimless already. Don't want to imagine what it will feel like spending the next 2 weeks at home.

So heads up, plans anyone?!

That's about all I have. You can deduce from here how significant my day has been.

"I play an awkward teenage boy who gets rejected. I've done so much research in that department, I can't even begin to tell you." - Topher Grace

Great comeback; not.

2007-05-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Music: Fergie - "Big Girls Don't Cry"

It has been a prolonged hiatus, nevertheless, I am back and finally compelled to write again.

Well, if you are an observant reader, you must've noticed I changed the way things look around here. For one, it's less perky and happy. A shade of gray. Not completely dull nor vibrant. I'm happy with the colour.

As for the graphics, I spent about 8 hours finishing everything. From photoshop to coding. Funny how I have so much patience when it comes to silly things like this.

The header looks relatively simple. Straight to the point. With minimal brushwork. Something I'm not yet accustomed to.

In the end, I am still not satisfied with it. I might, just might, change it again. Depending on how much time I have or if I'm up to the tidious chore of doing it all over again.

But after all that being said, thoughts on this new "artwork" of mine would be appreciated.

One more thing, I changed my url (yes again)

It's http://www.porcelain-hearts.co.nr/ now.

But the old link can still be used. It's just a matter of preference. So, it's entirely up to you whether you want to change it or keep the old one.

Life offline for me is the usual.

The holidays has just begun and I'm really savouring every ounce of it. After 2 full weeks of mugging and cramming, I finally can go to bed with ease.

I attended a gathering last night. One of my mother's old friend. Turns out, he's living opposite Jimmy Choo. Yes. As in, the Jimmy Choo just happens to be his opposite neighbour.

I thought it was rather amusing.

That is about all I have. I'll to be more active around here as I realise I this place has turned into crap after 2 weeks. Tres sad.

On a final note, happy holidays everyone! To those who have it of course. :)

2007-05-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

those neon lights, they burn bright

I don't care if I don't ever see you again

[mood: tired]
[music: - ]

I feel really bad when I start to neglect my blog.

But truth be told, my days are barely bloggable. There's nothing interesting to write about. Nothing significant enough.

Well, I hate being disappointed.
And I hate to disappoint.

I hate how some people turn out to be something less that what you expect them to be. I hate to realise how messed up this world really is.

I hate to know now love comes in the form of sex and lies.
And lovers take each other for granted,
each wanting the other for their own selfish needs.
True love died a long time ago.

I apologize if I'm feeling very cynical about love; or life for that matter.

But it's just one of those days you know.

And maybe the exam pressure is starting to get to me. I need to get myself out of this rut and convince myself there are brighter days ahead and alot more things to look forward to in life.

2007-04-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

you can't claim you're happy.

if you've never laughed at yourself

[mood: cheery]
[music: October Skies - Waking Ashland]

Oh no. I'm feeling exceptionally...happy.

So today was a long day. But I'll start with yesterday.

Had choir practice in the evening and then an appointment with Keith and the gang later at night.

I was THIS close to not coming because of a sudden family dinner. Luckily, I managed to escape.

Went over to Keith's place with Karyn at about 8.45-ish. Arrived there and saw Chui Nee and Alex. =)

I didn't know we were gonna be drinking but then the guys started bringing out the booze. So hey, a couple of rounds wouldn't hurt.

So we drank. And drank summore. And a little more.

And then we started singing along to songs and laughing at random stuff. At least I was.

Lisa wanted to test to see if I was still sober, so she demanded me to walk in a straight line with a pillow on my head. Like how models do. I just realised, don't they use like books instead of pillows?

The next thing I know, we were all trying to imitate Tyra Banks in ANTM. I tried being Tyra for a while but failed.

Karyn took over the role. I ended being Miss Jay. Lisa was Caridee and Chui Nee being Melrose. And yess, Jojo was Nigel Barker!

The whole was didn't exactly worked out because before "Tyra" could say anything, we all burst into hysterical fits of laughter.

Went over to Maju after that for no reason. It's like a norm for us. We have to go to Maju.

Today I woke up with a slight headache. Went to church like normal.

Had choir practice again. The wedding's in 3 days! I'm nervous yet excited.

2007-04-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

It's killing me

[mood: a little sleepy]
[music: Jenny - the Click Five]

I hate when bands get so famous;
and all the fame just goes to their heads.
It annoys me so badly.

Take for example FOB, GC etc.
Too much publicity and nudity does do you harm.

Currently hooked on the Click Five, which I thought was long gone and dead.
Only to be surprised that they've changed their frontman Eric (remember him??) to some Kyle dude,
which is obviously so totally hot.

To top it off, he's only 20 and well in my league.

Their latest single not bad either, if you're into the usual mainstream stuff.

I blame Kist and Sheila for this.

So the latest skin I made turned out pixelated. That sucked.
I have to start on a new one soon.
Doubt I'll have time.

Oh well I'm off to catch up on some reading.
And I don't like the way I'm blogging.

I'll be back soon with a new look and the proper way of writing.
This pink is getting to me.
Wonder what I was thinking when I made it. =\

2007-04-24T03:41:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving tonight

I'm craving those black skies

[mood: mellow]
[music: - ]

emotional (ĭ-mō'sha-nal) adj. 1) Of or relating to emotion 2) Readily affected with or stirred by emotion 3) Arousing or intended to arouse the emotions 4) Marked by or exhibiting emotion

Or, emo as todays young would call it.

Oh how I hate that word.

I hate how it's used most commonly used by pre-teenagers, making themselves sound like they're the most miserable people to roam the earth.

To me, the word's lost its meaning. Everyone is emo nowadays. Emo has become a substitute for words like sad or angry. If you're sad, you'll be called emo and if you're angry, you'll be called emo instead of angry.

But today, I've decided to break all rules and call myself emo only because I don't know what else to use to explain the state I am in right now.

No, I'm not sad and no I'm not angry. I certainly ain't depressed or stressed which I'm supposed to be.

I'm just expressing a form of emotion that is really inexplicable.

There's just this frown plastered across my face. Maybe I'm annoyed by the constant itching in the base of my throat or how my body's still sore from the harsh weekend.

One thing's for sure, it's a sucky feeling. I have absolutely no mood to do anything at all much less study.

Plus I get irritated by slightest things, like a phone call for example.

Sounds like I'm pms-ing rather than emo-ing.

This is stupid and it's going nowhere.

But who cares?! It's my blog and I'm free to say whatever I like no matter how unsubstantial it may be.

For the first time, I was reluctant to go to drum class.

I just didn't feel like seeing anybody. Walked in and immediately started hammering the drumset.

I got even more pissed when everything I was playing sounded so wrong. Nothing's accurate, my timing's running. I wanted to kill myself.

Teacher was late. Learned more beats which were obviously harder for me to grasp. I barely said a word to my teacher which is really rare seeing as how I like him alot.

Came home only to be faced with my dad and brother. The two people I really want to shoot down besides 50 cent.

So you tell me, what's there to be happy about?! I'm really skeptical about everything today.

Ah screw it.

2007-04-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

if only I could get into that corner of your head

where things finally match and meet the standards that you set

[mood: sick]
[music: Itu kamu - Estranged]

My eyes are burning and my head is throbbing.

It's been a while since I fell sick and this only reminds me of why I don't like getting sick. The flu bug that has been going around finally caught up with me.

I have half the heart to skip school tomorrow. Meh.

School was mediocre. The day seemed to fly by exceptionally fast which is bad because right now I want time to slow down. It's always ahead of me.

I finally got to meet with the principal today.

And I finally realised that the problem wasn't with the principal, but it was with my very own teacher advisor. I'm tired of being pissed and always complaining.

Right now, I'll just sit back and see how things fall apart.

Now I understand what people mean when they say they hate their school.

Anyways, IU Day of SMK USJ 4 is officially off.

So much for meeting Frequency Cannon.

I tried my best and I got the cold hard truth being said to my face. Sorry, I tried my best.
Exams are oh so near but I have not even made a dent in my revisions.

Gonna pop some pills now and then get into bed; hoping this headache will leave by tomorrow.

2007-04-22T02:34:00.000-07:00

She's going out to forget they were together

All that time he was taking her for granted

[mood: pretty normal]
[music: Dance floor anthem - Good Charlotte]

Right so I may be a little behind in posting about the concert seeing as how almost every blog I've been to has already posted about them.

OMFGZZ I KISSED BENJI AND THEN BILLY SMILED AT ME!11!1!!1

*shifty eye*

Unfortunately this time around, I didn't get that much attention from the band. But I'm not like devastated or anything. Maybe I'm not such a big fan after all.

Well, I was in Parade at 2. Waited for 2 hours to see them. Rockstars and being fashionably late. You know how it works. Met up with Juin Nik, Yorsh's friend. He was supposed to go to the concert after that with me but he pulled out in the end.

After waiting for so long, they finally arrived. And when it was my turn to see them, I got kicked out just because I don't have the cd.

Dude, like what the hell?!

Psh fine. So don't let me see them already!

We were running awfully late by the time everyone was done. Took the train there and then made a run for it; literally.

Got my tickets and instantly got in! Somehow the whole group got abit seperated. I was with Wilson while Jing was with Karyn and then they found Simon which was in the VIP area thus they got to go in as well.

Um yeah. It'll take a while for you to figure that out.

As a result, Karyn got a shitload of pretty pictures while I got none. Sigh

I bumped into some of my friends so I decided to hang out with them instead.

The local bands that performed were Lo, Estranged and One Buck Short, as you've probably already know. But I gotta give it up for Estranged. I have no idea who they were but they sounded real good. Lo was excellent, that goes without saying. Everyone played well.

We were given a half hour break for I don't know what reason. Maybe GC needed extra time to put on their make-up.

Kidding. I love them. With or without eyeliner.

They came out and everyone felt fully charged again. GC was awesome without a doubt! Joel was being such a sellout saying corny things like,

"Oh Malaysia, I love you guys! I think I'm gonna move here. But I'll need a place to stay and a wife..."

and the standard line everyone uses,

"You guys are the best crowd we've ever had. I'll never forget you..."

Chyeaaaaah. That's what they all say.

My favourite song of the night was Dance Floor Anthem and Hold On. Oh and also We Believe. Thank god they played song from their older records. Most of the time, I couldn't see the stage so I relied on the big screen but I had soo much fun.

Jumping. Screaming. Shrieking.

Just everything. I love everything that has got to do with rock concerts. Everything from the lack of oxygen and the smell of sweaty pits to the beat of the drum just resonating throughout the crowd. The dense air, the bright lights, the heavy riffs of guitars.

Picture perfect.

For the first time in my life I realise what's it like to really be in a concert. It's not about the amount of pictures you take with the band or how close you are to the stage. But it's the exhilarating feeling you get. The kind of adrenaline that just rushes through. The sudden surge of energy that allows you to be screaming for a good solid 4 hours.

It's like getting high. Only on music instead of drugs.

But of course, meeting the band you love would be one hell of an experience. =)

Jing's mom sent us all home because the LRT was broken. Well, the gate to the LRT station was broken so they decided to stop letting anyone on the train. I don't see how it works but that's what happened.

Arrived home close to 12.30. I was dead tired.

So, when's the next concert? I can hardly wait.

2007-04-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

we'll lift your sleeves,

so bare they might see your angles and errors

[mood: undecisive]
[music: Me, you & my medication - BLG]

I'm forgetful, I'm clumsy and I'm careless.
I'm pathetic, I'm insecure and I'm useless.

I'll probably be everything you'd hate to have.

So I guess sorry is all I can offer? Sorry for being me. But that won't change things, will it?

It's been a rough day. This week was horrible.

I came to school hoping things would turn for the better. But situations let me down and finally the worst came. Everyone was perplexed. How can they not be? The whole thing just spells injustice.

I finally brokedown. I guess I couldn't stand what was going on.

I can't take the fact that we have to sucuumb to such stupid rules.
I can't stand the way some people walk around acting as if nothing happened.
I can't imagine what life would be like after they leave.

I feel there's so much more to say but I know that words spoken will just be in vain.

It's strange how people can just act so cold heartedly. Does it make you happy when you screw people's lives over? Does it give you some sort of satisfaction?

No. I don't believe you're sorry for your actions. But even if you are, the damage has already been done. Sorry after all is just another word that hardly ever means anything now.

I tried to talk to Mr. Sim today. Notice the word tried here. So yeah, you probably know what's the outcome. I'm going to the principal next and if doesn't work out, I'm giving up.

I don't want to bother anymore. Sometimes I feel we have so much to offer and to give but the doors just get slammed in our faces. We show so much enthusiasm and excitement only to be discouraged by the people we need for support.

What is up with this?

Everyone's sick of getting their hopes up and then torn down. I'm only one obstacle away and then I'm free from this mess.

Right now, I can't seem to make my mind up on a certain matter. Why am I always left in such a difficult position?

I can't make decisions! I just end up feeling guilty.

I hate this. I hate everything that's been happening. I hate seeing people I care about feeling so helpless. I hate feeling broken hearted.

I feel like shit.

Worst day of my life? So far, yes.

2007-04-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about

And she's got everything that I have to live without.

[mood: sad]
[music: Makes me wonder - Maroon 5]

Day 3 of a series of bad days.

Does that officially mean that my bad days are over? Strike 3 and then it's done right? Cos I don't think I can keep up with this amount of frustration.

First period I have today was BM. And that was with Pn. A. True enough, she came in, listened to one presentation and then walked out.

What a way to start off the day.

A little while after that Karyn came to see me and told me that our IU was being canceled because we couldn't get the permission letter signed.

Honestly, I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe her.

Sure we've faced tonnes of problems before this but I don't believe they can't be resolved. Everything has a solution and if we're doing this for a good cause and not for our selfish needs, sure it'll work right?

I came down for recess later only to be faced with the same words from Jing.

That just killed my mood for the rest of the day.

I just didn't expect being this let down.

Thoughts were just running through my head. I would do ANYTHING to have this IU back and running again. Just anything.

Why cancel it now after so much work has been put into it? Why say no now when we have everything planned out? Why now? WHY WHY WHY?

I just want answers. Valid answers. Answers that will prove us wrong because really I don't think what we're doing are wrong.

You worry about discipline problems, we're willing to tighten the securities. Heck, call the police if you want!

Whatever it is, I'm not giving up until someone slaps me in the face and screams it to my face that it's over. Maybe you'll think I'm hard headed and stubborn but I really don't care. I just think it's unfair that you're not willing to hear us out or at least make a bargain with us.

Anything but flat out say no.

My class teacher came in after that.

I could tell she was tired of getting complaints from everyone else.

She vented to us and then re-arranged our seating places. Some of us were unhappy with our new places but do you think we'd still dare to voice out our opinions? I don't think we're in any position to do that anymore.

I can officially say we're the worst form 5 class the school has ever had.

Please bad days, go away?

2007-04-17T02:15:00.000-07:00

I like to pretend I'm deep and mysterious.

Truthfully, I'm not.

[mood: frustrated]
[music: Take cover - Acceptance]

When all goes wrong,

and there's nothing to smile at

Today was a slap in the face; a blow to the head.

What started of as "usual", gradually turned into insane.

And I'm not saying that in a good way. Nothing close.

First period was PJ aka free time/doing-your-unfinished-homework time. :)

We brought our camera's to school today for senior page. The deadline is pretty near so we gotta finish asap.

Mostly snapped random pictures.

Things started to turn after recess. We were called to go to the Language Room for BM. We walked in casually, not knowing what was ahead of us.

Pn. A stared at all of us coldly. Her lips were pursed together tightly. We slowly took our places and waited for her to begin.

Slowly she stood up and stated flatly that she wasn't in any mood to teach us today. I glanced over at Teng Hui and instantly knew what that meant.

We were in for it.

She started yelling at us for what happened yesterday. About 14 kids from my class skipped the seminar yesterday and that really made her pissed.

NO. I wasn't one of them. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

I guess it's safe to say that almost all of us were dead afraid. She was cursing and yelling at us. At one point, she got so pissed she threw a book on the floor and then told us to get out.

I was shaking in my seat. I didn't even dare breathe.

But I think whatever she said today was right. We really did cross the line this time.

Everyone HATES us. Every single teacher that steps into our class. Heck, even our class teacher hates us. They think we're undisciplined, noisy and rude.

All of us felt soo guilty after that. Well all except a few hard headed, ego driven guys. I went to see teacher personally and tried to apologize but she didn't accept it. I think she's sick of us.

I don't understand how can something so trivial as "making noise" can turn into something so huge. If this issue doesn't get resolved, our results and testimonials are on the line. Basically, our whole future is at stake.

Got some individual pictures for the senior page. Some looked really good.

Drum class was at 3.30 but I went there at 3. Teacher was late by 15 minutes so the class got extended, not that I'm complaining or anything.

This week was harder than the last. I just can't seem to coordinate. My feet and hands are all over the place. I don't seem to be able to maintain the beat. It was frustrating. My bass drums suck! Ugh.

But my instructor said I'll get it after a few more rounds. He told me to take it slow and he even showed me how a few grade 8 songs were. I merely stood in a corner and stared in awe.

That's it fer today. Homework and revisions awaits me.

2007-04-15T02:18:00.000-07:00

I'll make you a promise, but it just can't be forever

[mood: very uncomfortable]
[music: - ]

I feel like an 80 year old right now. Cause of it?

Menstruation.

I'm not going to play around words and call it stuff like, 'it's the time of them month'. I'm just gonna say menstruation.

Even the sound of it makes you cringe. I hate it. Ultimately.

It drains the very life out of me. And today is not the right time to start it because I have a shitload of homework to do. Not to mention a whole presentation for my BM aural!

Gah see, it even gives me mood swings. Perks of being a woman.

I stayed up late last night. One of my happier nights. :]

But then I had to wake up early for church today.

I think I almost dozed off during service. Choir practice was short. Somehow everyone felt so lifeless. But maybe it's just me.

I feel sad and happy at the same time. But also kinda stupid.

I know things between us will never work out but I still want it soo badly. Maybe I'm just feeling a little needy.

But all I could think about today was the conversation we had last night. Gahhh! This is frustrating. Maybe this thing we have going on between us will be better if it just stayed like that. There's nothing much either of us can do.

i've been jumping from the tops of

buildings for the thrill of the fall.

ignoring sound advice and any

thought of consequence

2007-04-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

just know that when you see me cringe sometimes

i'm trying to rid the poison from my mind.

[mood: tired]
[music: Speakers blown - Hit the lights]

Seriously thought of skipping school today. Thought it over and then decided to just get through with it.

That's how terrible it gets sometimes.

Don't get me wrong. I think everyone has their bad and good days. It's just lately I've been experiencing more bad ones than good.

Arrived just in time for my first period of Bio which automatically spells B-O-R-I-N-G.

Funny how the main reason I chose to be in the science was because of this very subject. And now, I'm dreading the class?

I'm not sure what goes on in this little head of mine.

After school, we had our general meeting. I think today's meeting was one of the best ones we've had so far. Talked about current activities and then we proceeded to play games.

Everyone loves games. The more kiddy they are, the more fun you have. If you don't agree with me, you're just living in denial. Hmph.

Well, I was the game master! Had an icebreaking game. It didn't last that long because we running out of time but by the look of things, I'd say everyone was having fun.

Got home and got ready for tuition. Friday's Add Math day! Whoopee.

Me and Chui Nee was supposed to meet up with Karyn later to settle some things in Summit. But then it rained so we waited in Chui Nee's house and played some detective game to pass time.

Karyn came to pick us and off we went. Talked to this person and that person. Everything went well.

Had some time to spare before Nichol came so I decided to get the RM 3.90 hoodie. Yaaayy for warehouse sales!

He came shortly after that and he drove us to USJ 3A. Karyn was going to get some "driving lessons" from him.

GULP.

Me, Chui Nee and Lisa sat in the backseat prepared ourselves for the worst.

Karyn; behind the wheels.

Doesn't that just send a shiver down your spine?

After a while, she started getting the hang of it. Did god knows how many U-turns and had screaming/giggling fits every 5 minutes or so.

Nichol was pretty afraid because everytime she gripped the steering wheel, his hand would automatically rest on the hand break. You know, just incase anything happens.

But overall, she was okay. A few more rounds of U-turns and she's on her way to getting her license.

Headed to Maju after that because we were starving. As usual, we talked. I love talking and spending time with them. Right before I went home, Karyn posed this question to all of us.

"Do girls get sexier as we grow older?"

I know. It's one of those "Karyn questions" once again.

But seriously, I came home and started thinking about it. Do we really?

Tomorrow I'm going shopping! For books. Mid-terms are in 3 weeks, plus minus.

Bring on the misery. Bring on the pressure.

2007-04-12T00:22:00.000-07:00

Do you remember me?

Cause I remember you.

Loud and clear

[mood: helpless]
[music: She's online - Limbeck]

How do I start the to pen down this day?

I'd say it was merely..ordinary.

My life has turned into a momentary routine. Every morning I wake up with the determination to put in more effort that I did yesterday.

I go to school. I'll give 100% concentration of the first two periods. When third period comes along, I'll remember why I gave up the last time.

And then I begin to wonder, will I ever get through this year alive?

Honestly, I can barely remember what happened today. I'd rather just ramble on aimlessly than to force my mind into recalling the hours that passed.

Well, I got demerited today for leaving 3 minutes early to recess. That was a carnal sin. My Mod Maths teacher just won't accept it. So yeah, there goes about 20 points off my discipline card.

It's all a little unreasonable, don't you think? And a tad bit overdone.

I'm tired of commenting. Whatever floats her boat, man.

We were supposed to have a fire drill today yet somehow that didn't happen. I went with Chui Nee to meet up with Karyn and Jing.

Problems after problems. We're faced with so many of them. Why can't things just move smoothly? Why can't things just..happen?!

There are so many obstructions. Mainly teachers, obviously. We can't get approval for our futsal tournament or our IU. That's just indirectly telling us to cancel the whole event.

Everyone's just really stressed out by it.

We're not giving up until the last minute. No! I'll not allow our whole 2 months of planning just go down the drain like that.

This is a real sudden thought, but I'm missing someone right now.

I should really stop listening to emotional love songs and cut down on watching drama series.

2007-04-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

I'm desperately searching for a reason behind all of this.

[mood: tense]
[music: Cannonball - Damien Rice]

Bad day, bad day, bad day.

I hate bad days.

Woke up with a headache. Who wakes up with a headache?!

Dragged my lazy butt of to school. We had like 6 periods free today. I don't whether I should celebrate or mope about it.

Spent the whole time before recess talking to Eliani in the canteen. The guys had PJ and Chui Nee was off for her Chemistry Quiz together with Karyn.

Personally, I think they did rather well. But I understand why Chui Nee's so upset with her marks. She worked really hard for it until she fell sick! Don't worry, you won't ever see me getting sick because of studying.

But whatever it is, I think it's a rather impressive score. Anything out of you is sheer brilliance. Cheeer up! You're still my super geek. 8-

Add maths was a total and complete blur to me. Trigonometry is the devil.

During English, we were talking about Hong Kong TVB series actors and actresses. Everyone from Sonija Kwok to Louis Koo. Hahaha it was funny especially with Michael around.

I don't know how that progressed to me daring him. And I was silly enough to make a deal stating that if I he doesn't do it, I'd do ANYTHING he asked me to.

Obviously, he did it.

As for me, my task was to tug on Yang's shirt and then walk away when he looked at me.

Let's just say me and Yang, we go a long way back.

Everyone got a good laugh out of it. Cheap thrills.

Came home and was excited for my first ever drum lessons. Went over to Taipan at 3.30 and then discovered that my so called teacher forgot he had a class with me!

*^$#^&%$

I was so pumped for it and then this happens. *groans*

The guy there asked me to come back at 6.

Slept for an hour and then went back there. Luckily this time, he was there.

Got introduced to the drum set. He briefed me on how I should position my feet, how to hold my drumsticks.

Omg I was nervous as hell. He kept laughing at me and insisted that I relaxed.

I have this thing with music instructors. Okay, maybe just instructors in general. I get so jumpy around them and then I start stammering. It's crazy, I know!

I guess he's a pretty nice guy. And he has nice hands? Haha random moment.

I'm half looking forward to next week's class. I gotta practice.

Practice. A word that's rarely ever used in my list of vocabulary.

Oh why can't I be what you need?

A newer improved version of me

But I'm nothing so good

no, I'm nothing

2007-04-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

you are the reoccuring kind,

you never really leave my mind.

[mood: relaxed]

[music: If everyone cared - Nickelback]

Ah today was an early day. Despite it being a Saturday.

Got up at 7.30?! I was so irritated by my mom who kept nudging so I'd really wake up.
Had to follow my parents to the cemetery to visit my grandfather. Right now, it's the cheng beng season. Some festival most chinese people celebrate. Spent about 1 and a half hours there.

Headed of to Carrefour after that. Shopped for close to 2 hours.

My dad bought like close to a RM 1000 worth of groceries.

I KNOW.

He thinks he has 20 children or something. I was so embarassed. Like, we had 2 trolley's full of..groceries! It wasn't easy pushing them around either. I told Jing this later, she said he probably took all the expensive stuff. That might be true.

Gosh. Some shopping we did.

Came home and got ready for SS 17's IU Day. Picked the girls up from Summit. Karyn and Jing got this really really nice sweater. I waanntt it! You'll never believe if I told you how much was. No; seriously.

The whole IU was okay. Had dances, band perfomances. The usual stuff ya' know. Their theme was Revolution of Movies. Pretty neat. They had a fashion show too.

All of us joined the lucky draw and...all of us striked! They gave out free movie passes to any movie. So total them up, we had 8 free movies passes! =D

Oh yeah, we had to play this ice breaker game too. Basically, we had to go around asking people for signatures if they fulfilled the requirement stated on the piece of paper. Like um, I have to find someone with the same shoe size and if I did, that person had to sign for me.

I hope you get it. I'm not quite sure how to explain it.

Later the 4 of us went over to Parade for dinner. Ate at Dave's Deli. Was stuffed. Talked for a bit. Sighhhhh my friend my friend. =(

Went walking around. Ended up in FOS. And when we're in FOS, we're bound to purchase something. I got a pair of nice shorts. Been looking around for shorts for quite some time now.
Chui Nee had to leave early and Jing was with her usual someone. =)

That's about it. Basic day. Oh and ugh, I have to start studying.

2007-04-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Wounds so deep they never show,
they never go away

[mood: sleeepy]
[music: - ]

Why'd I have to go to school today?!

Why can't I just relive yesterday. Yesterday was perfect. Except the part where I was caught in the train for close to 45 minutes.

School was just duh. I don't know what other word to use for it. My brain is failing me.

The whole day was just a daze. I moped around, barely engaging in any conversation with anyone besides my girls.

Had tonnes of work to catch up to. I can barely keep with the ones I have now. When will this enddd??

Other that that, I got some results back today. Nothing impressive I can flaunt around. English was a disappointment to me. I didn't get the marks I expected to.

If I told you my marks, you'll probably think I'm greedy and I have too much expectations for myself. But honestly, I need it to pull my percentage higher. English is one of my stronger subjects and I definitely need to secure an A1.

Did our aural after. I skipped a lot of lines. I'm never good with an audience sigh.

BM tuition was funny. Karyn kept imposing all these weird hard questions at us. Something like, Love or Money? Obviously we picked love but she decided to be in the minority and then started debating.

I'm sticking to my first choice!

Oh by the way, I like JT. Hot much?

What is up with me and superstars.

Pictures I promised. I have a few more but they took so long to upload. Patience has never been one of my virtues.

My poster. Spot the autograph. The most precious autograph. Yes ohh yesss...

Blur. =(

Sorry I had to tag the pictures. I edited it last night and just decided to throw the tag in. Turns out really ugly now.

2007-04-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

Put to rest what you thought of me

Well, I clean this slate with hands of uncertainty

[mood: delirious]
[music: What I've done - Linkin Park]

Today has got to be the best Wednesday ever.

Should I start from the beginning? Oh my this is gonna be one long post.

As you already know, I contemplated on whether I should meet or not.

Well, today. I DID.

Conspired with my mom. She sent me early to Jing's house. I couldn't sleep so I ended up reading a whole gossip girl storybook. Personally, I don't really like it. But it's just me. There has to be some reason why it's a bestseller.

Anyways, by about 12 Jing's mom dropped us off at the train station. It took us nearly an hour to arrive at KLCC.

Immediately headed off to Tower Records to see if there really was going to be an autograph session today. Whilst on the train, I had this nagging feeling that maybe he wouldn't be there.

Thank god, I was proved wrong.

We saw tonnes of posters being plastered all around Tower Records. And yessss, Chester Bennington was going to be there at 4.

THE CHESTER BENNINGTON.

I was so relieved. We went to the counter and the counter explained the whole event to us.

Apparently, if we pre-ordered the CD, we would be able to get a mega huge poster and a chance for Chester to sign it! But there was a catch! Only 50 people would be able to enter.

Naturally, the 3 of us freaked and without thinking or reasoning, pre-ordered 3 of LP's new cd. And we were in the top 50! I got lucky number 38. I was so so so happy you'd just want to slap that silly smile out of my face.

We had 2 more hours til he finally arrived, so we sat down at Burger King for a bit. Jing had her usual sudden craving for ice-cream. She got her McFlurry and her sister got Haagen Daaz. O.O

I grabbed a tuna sandwich from Cold Storage. Too excited to even eat.

3 o'clock came around and we started lining up. You can actually feel the excitement rising as time passes. Random screams could be heard. I was one of the many who contributed. People hated to wait in anticipation. Especially waiting for someone like him.

We had to wait in line for nearly 2 hours. I swear there were times where I just wanted to break the glass down and kidnap him. But finally he appeared and oh my god, did I scream!

Everyone went crazy. We were all so excited. Cameras started flashing and hands were raised up high into the air. Girls started screaming his name. We did about anything just to grab his attention. Everyone loved him. Everyone wanted him. I'm not one that was to be excused.

The line I was in started moving. I was shaking. Butterflies weren't just fluttering in my stomach, they were head on colliding with each other. I felt a moment of nausea and then quickly composed myself. I wasn't going to be barf all over Chester. Although, that would be a pretty neat way to make myself appear on the front cover.

Jing went before me and then it was my turn. What should I say????

He greeted me with a pleasant smile and a simple hi.

I, on the other hand, stumbled all over my words and all that came out was a slurred version of "ohmygodiloveyou!". That itself was barely audible. To make matters worse, I had this stupid cheesy lovedrunk smile on my face which I'm pretty sure looked revolting.

Yet I still asked him for a hug!

Yessss! I hugged Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. I was up close and personal with him; literally. I had his hands around me for like 0.1 seconds and I could actually feel the stubble on his face.

Good lord, I'm in love with a married man that's easily 15 years older than I am.

After that, everything was a blur. All I could hear was crazy girls screaming after him. But I managed to sneak my way in and found a way to get to the room where he was!

While he was on his way out, I was actually so tempted to just break in and then plead for him to take just one picture with me.

Did I do it? Yes I did. But I was late! By like 10 seconds or so. The minute I entered, he left. You could only imagine the devastation I went through. I was soo angry with myself! If only I'd push harder..

On our way our out, we came across another celebrity. No, not Chester's brother or mother-in-law.

It was our very own Disney Buzz superstar, Jien!

Jing recognised him first and then started calling out to him. He heard her and the gave her the who-the-heck-are-you look. But we managed to get picture of him eventhough he was busy making a phonecall while snapping the picture. I don't like the slang he has on. =\

The train ride home was terrible. We were crammed in the train like ketupats. You know how compact they are right? Yeah, that's the condition we were in. I had this one man who had his elbow digging into my ribs. So everytime the train came to a halt, ouchhhhh.

And the smell. You don't want me to go there. I was actually standing infront of a couple of guys that were holding on to the upper railing. So, you do the math.

By 7.15, I was in the comfort of my own car.

Mom dropped Jing's sister off and then took me to register to my drum lessons. I'll be starting next week! So yeah, proper fit excited.

The people there sounds really nice. I've already met my teacher. He was at the counter while I was registering.

The clerk asked me what day I was free and I replied Tuesday. He cleverly butted in and said he was very free on Tuesdays as well. I was like thinking, what does it have to with you?

After I fixed the time, he announced proudly to me that he was gonna be my teacher! Kinda shocked at first but he seems like a nice person. I just hope he isn't too strict!

PS: Photobucket is being its usual bitchy self. So no picture update for now. I'll add them in my next post or something.

2007-04-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

we're the new face of failure.

prettier and younger but not any better off.

[mood: undecisive]
[music: - ]

Today was mediocre.

I woke up half an hour earlier for no apparent reason. So I got to school early!

Went there and realised Gordan was going to be singing today. Cheered him on while he was on stage. He did pretty well. But the microphone condition was horrid and that ruined everything.

At about 9.30, me and Chui Nee along with the others went down to change into our Interact uniforms. Photography session for clubs and societies were held today. Our turn was at 10.15.

Everybody got ready and we all looked really smart. I love my board! :]

We had two regular shots and one freestyle. I had no idea what pose to do for the freestyle shot so I actually followed what the photographer asked to do.

I did the cheesy two-thumbs up pose! With my stupid smileee! Ahhh I thought everyone was going to do the same. But they didn't! Oh no, I completely ruined my freestyle pose.

Continued walking around in my noisy heels for the rest of the day. We were all lazy to change back into our proper uniforms. In the end, feet were hurting like mad.

During recess, we wanted to take our PMR slips back but instantly had remarks thrown at us the moment we stepped into the office. About what? The usual fuss over our attire, claiming our skirts were too short.

Such nonsense. I see other teachers walking around with even shorter skirts. Not gonna name any incase they stumble across this page.

Me and Lisa immediately left before they forced us to do stuff we didn't want to do.

Left school early and then slept through the whole afternoon. Guilty pleasure. =)

Right now I don't know what to do.

Chester Bennington is going to be in KLCC tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon doing his promo for the new Linkin Park album.

I really really really want to go but I have to skip school AND tuition. So, I don't know.

I know that if I do skip all these, I'll end up feeling really guilty because this isn't the year to be having fun.

But then again, it's CHESTER BENNINGTON!!!

Ah dilemma. Help?

2007-03-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

some days make me feel weak and shaky

some fly right by me like a paper aeroplane

[mood: relaxed]
[music: the killers on the radio]

I'm feeling so sleepy now and it's only 8.30. I'm developing into such a sloth. I had slept early last night and woke up late today. I shouldn't be feeling so sleepy, right?

Well, I had plans again today. Followed Karyn around to help run her errands.

She came to get me and Jing at about 11.45. Headed off to Summit first. Was supposed to book the hall for the IU Day but the office was closed. Apparently, today was a public holiday. Really? It is? I didn't notice. So, which king is celebrating his birthday today?

We're gonna have to go back there again and book it.

Next we took a cab to SS15. The cab driver was nice but was not of much help. We wanted to go to this place called Salmon Steakhouse for lunch but had no idea where it was. Karyn was supposed to know because she goes to SS15 almost every week.

But, she was clueless as he was. In the end, he dropped us at Asia Cafe and we walked there.

Turns out, it was situated beside the Taylor's Business School, which is a pretty big landmark if you ask me.

The set lunches there are really cheap. 5 bucks for main course and one drink. Andd, no tax! I like places with no tax.

Lisa joined us a while later. She started telling us stories about buns. Hahaha it was cute and funny.

Jing had a sudden craving for ice-cream but as usual, SS15 was a totally unfamiliar place to us so we didn't know where to get any ice-cream.

Since we couldn't get any, we settled for some bubble milk tea and ice blendeds at a shop called Little Taiwan.

Walked over to the studio that was situated just down the road.

Half way walking, Karyn suddenly started panicking. I was kinda confused at that moment. I didn't know what was going on. She just told us to keep walking and she looked so frightened.

That freaked me out at the same time. I don't know what she saw. Lisa was equally as blur as I was.

She calmed down after a while and then told us the whole thing.

Turns out there was this perverted old man on a motorbike that was following us around. He suddenly stopped and FLASHED at Karyn. I was so grossed out! Jing told us to keep walking incase he decided to turn around for a second time.

I was pretty much scared at that time. It's just sick man! Karyn described to me what it looked like and, ugh. I'm just happy I didn't have to experience it first hand. Just the thought of it is bad enough. SS15 is crazy.

The 4 of us huddled up and walked close to each other. We finally made it to the studio and booked the place.

INTERACT CLUB OF SMK USJ 4

INTERNATIONAL UNDERSTANDING DAY

BAND AUDITIONS

22ND APRIL 2007

4PM - 6 PM

CSI STUDIO, SS15

While walking down the stairs, Lisa told us she overheard some guys asking whether we were an all-girl band. Hahaha! Would be cool if we really were.

Took another cab to Mydin to do our shopping. Bought tons of sweets and junk food. No, it's not for us. Gosh what do you take us for? Americans?!

We're gonna be having a food sale at school. Yes, again. That's the quickest way to raise funds. And we are in dire need of funds. So of course, sponsors would be highly highly appreciated.

We settled down in KFC after everything. Lisa treated us to some potato chips and Jing had cheesy wedges! We sat and talked about everything from prom to teachers while waiting for Jing's mom to come get us.

Whoo long post which means it has been a long day. Had lots of fun just hanging out with my girls. April will be even more busy. Then it's May and after May, the months will just fly by; literally.

2007-03-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Walking out on you is still the best thing I ever did.

[mood: contented]
[music: Cue the sun - Daphne loves Derby]

That A&W waffle was a huge mistake. I feel sick to my stomach now because I'm so stuffed. Eurgh gross.

I woke up this morning for nothing. Went to school and had the usual lecture from our very much adored Mod Maths teacher. Apparently, we always ruin her mood. Funny how she does the same thing to us.

Looked forward to having my Chemistry lesson for once. We were going to do an experiment on Esterification. Was prepared to tease Kok Seng throughout the period. Ester = Esther, get it? Eh nevermind.

But much to our dismay, teacher had a last minute meeting and the whole experiment had to postponed.

So basically, the one and only sole purpose of us attending school was defeated.

Had the IU Meeting after that. So far, I think Karyn's doing an awesome job with it. Every week there's progress. The IU this year sounds promising. So watch out for that!

Add Maths tuition was later in the evening. What a drag..

Rushed home to meet with Michelle and we went out to watch Mr Bean's Holiday.

I'd give it 6/10 rating. It had a few funny scenes but you know, it's the typical Mr. Bean kind. Looks utterly stupid but somehow it works and ends up looking genius. And during the movie, I can't help but picture Kok Seng acting as Mr. Bean! Don't ask why.

Contemplated on taking the bus. In the end, we resolved to calling my mom.

Tomorrow will be another long long day. And I'm dead tired now. Peace out, readers.

2007-03-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Please,

tell me how you lift these heavy bricks

[mood: restless]
[music: Live forever - Oasis]

Is it summer already? The last time I checked, we just got into spring.

The heat is killing me. And its most probably doing the same to people everywhere else. What is up the weather, man?! Global warming much? Stop cutting down trees already! I don't care if you have to make our toilet paper out of sand!

I skipped school today. Was feeling extremely tired suddenly. My mom came in to wake me up.

Mom: Are you going to school?
Me: *grunts*
Mom: If you're not going then say properly, cos I also want to go back to sleep!
Me: *continues sleeping*

What an escape! I ended up waking up close to lunch time. Of course, the lecture that I had during lunch was inevitable.

Had chemistry tuition at 3. Saw Jojo there. Teacher called him a homeless boy. He doesn't seem to stick to his proper tuition time instead he hops from one class to another until teacher herself doesn't know where he belongs to haha

Went over to Michelle's house to help her with her Moral project. Snapped a few pictures and then we hung out. Her mom came home and got us Bubble Tea. Damn, I'm craving for it now.

Came home and did my homework. I've got so much to do! I heard some of my classmates did their Physics Experiment today and it's due tomorrow! The letters D-E-A-D can already be seen flashing across my forehead. Meh.

Got tagged again, by Lindley this time.

First Quiz

1. List 3 things you see when you look to your left:
i. my lamp
ii. switches
iii. the wall

2. List 3 things you see when you look to your right:
i) my bed!
ii) closet
iii) study table

3. List the last 3 places you ate out at
:i) Logenhaus
ii) Pyramid
iii) I don't remember...

4. List the last 3 things you bought:
i) earrings
ii) ...
iii) I really don't remember! =(

5. List the last 3 songs you listened to:
i) Sunday - Daphne Loves Derby
ii) On top of the world - Boys like Girls
iii) Runaway - Anberlin
---
1. What are your four favorite beverages?
i) water
ii) tea
iii) limau ais
iv) fruit smoothies

2. What are your four favorite tv shows?
i) Falcon Beach
ii) America's Next Top Model
iii) CSI
iv) House

3. What are your four favorite desserts?
Anything nice. That has got to be the worse answer ever

4. What are your four favorite hobbies?
i) Surfing the web
ii) Music fer sure
iii) reading
iv) watching the tele x)

5. Who are your four favorite musicians?
At the moment:-
i) Daphne loves Derby
ii) The Scene Aesthetic
iii) Straylight Run
iv) Boys Like Girls

Second Quiz

Type your first name and the word "needs" in Google and copy the first ten results. Too funny! If you do this meme, please share your funniest results in the comments.

1. ADELINA ISMAILI - INTERVISTA E ADELINA ISMAILI - FOTO ADELINA ISMAILI, ADELINA PORNO SEX: Kosova Model Agency, Information on Albania, includes Albanian ...

2. Pse Adelina ka qene nje kohe jashte skenes? A ka probleme Adelina? Pse gazeta "Shekulli" nuk e botoi reagimin e Adelina Ismajlit? A ka politike ne tekstet e ...

3. The life and times of Adelina Patti the famous opera soprano, with pictures and details of Craig-y-Nos Castle, her lovely country estate near Abercrave, ...

4. Amazon.com: Adelina's Whales: Books: Richard Sobol by Richard Sobol

5. Adelina Patti made her operatic début, in the title rôle of Donizetti's Lucia ... This song would became associated with Adelina Patti and she performed it ...

6. It's a link..

7. Italian soprano. An appreciation and recording from Marston Records.

8. Although the name Adelina creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, ... As Adelina you have a great love of nature and the out-of-doors. ...

9. Adelina Anthony's Website. Adelina Anthony's Comedy MASTERING SEX & TORTILLAS! Adelina Anthony's BIO. BRUISING FOR BESOS Adelina Anthony, Book Adelina ...

10. Online Feng Shui shop offering a wealth of information, resources and services on Feng Shui, traditional Chinese art, Chinese culture, symbolism and ...

One of the weirdest survey ever done. Especially when it came to my name.

#1 and #9. WTF?!

2007-03-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

When she dreams, she sees herself in her Sunday dress,
humming simple melodies

[mood: angry at myself]
[music: - ]

This is how I feel like right now.

I feel this small and inadequate. Almost worthless.

Everyday is a blur to me. Sometimes I feel time is ahead of me, and I just can't keep up.

Most of all, I just feel like a FAILURE.

2007-03-25T02:08:00.000-07:00

And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.

[mood: pissed]
[music: Truth & Reconciliation - This Providence]

WHAT THE HECK.

I really wanted to curse right there but I'm trying to stop cursing. So I'll start by reducing the number of swear words in my blog.

But seriously, WHAT THE HECK!

I just got a phone call from someone and he started yelling at me over the phone just because I didn't give him the correct amount of pictures.

I was so shocked. He made it look as if it was my fault.

Fine, maybe I didn't double check when I loaded the images into my pendrive, but do you honestly think I would purposely want to lessen the amount of pictures?!

I'm just really pissed cos he's blaming me for the entire thing. It's not my fault he decided to complete his work last minute. I'm being really nice already to give him a helping hand with his freaking homework.

Just, UGH! I don't deserve this. I'm never being nice anymore. I'll just be the selfish bitch that everyone hates.

Shit, I just cursed. To hell with it.

That's about it for the day. It isn't a really good day for me. Went to church and had 2 slices of chocolate cake because it was someone's birthday. Gross.

To top it off, my camera's with my dad and I NEED it to take pictures for my senior page. Next, I have to rush to complete my homework because I decided to go out yesterday.

Yes, real bad mood right now. I'm sure you can already tell.

2007-03-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

I'm dropping my insecurities to the floor.
my dress around my waist
you'll take them to a new level entirely,
with the undone buckle of your belt

In love with provocative pictures right now. I don't know. I just find them so disturbingly captivating.

Well, I've been thinking about the phone lines & the street signs
& they remind me every couple of miles
that you're a hundred twisted miles of highway away from here.
& I'm hating feeling farther from you.
& I know that your heart feels that way too.

Something that instantly reminded me of Karyn.

Love is but a song to sing
fear's the way we die.
You can make the mountains sing
or make angels cry.

The line sounds vaguely familiar, eh? =]

2007-03-22T03:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying i'm battered and bruised.

But I might as well be with the words you used

[mood: stressed]
[music: Your guardian angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus]

In conclusion, school sucked.

I just concluded my post without even starting it. Maybe I am a little off today.

It didn't rain this morning, much to my disappointment. Woke up late and rushed off to school.

I had alot of heavy subjects today which meant the exams today would be extra hard. Among them were Add Maths, Mod Maths and Physics. Huhu 3 of the worse subjects I've ever come acrossed in my life.

Mod Maths was up first. Struggled through that.

Next came Add Maths. To say I struggled would be an understatement. I practically died half way. I did bits of pieces here and there and poof, time was up. My paper looked so unappealing. It always does.

We suddenly had our History test today when it was scheduled for tomorrow. I read through my form 5 syllabus but not my form 4. The whole class was grumbling, some even begged her to do it tomorrow. But nooo, she wouldn't budge. What to do? Sit only lah.

Physics came last and boy oh boy, I can tell you it's the easiest Physics paper I've ever sat for. I answered it confidently, for the first time in my life. I actually felt like I studied for the paper and every single thing I memorized was put to use. Nice way to end the day.

Came home and I was faced with piano class. Just for the record, I have not touched a single on that piano for about a month now. My fingers are stiff and my playing would be the last thing you'd want to hear. True enough, teacher was a bit frustrated with me. She gave me a fair warning and I would have to do better next week.

This instrument makes me wanna give up. And I'm gonna be starting my drum lessons next month! How am I gonna juggle so many things at a time.

Adelina, you're just too ambitious.

BM tuition in one and a half hours time. Boring.

2007-03-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

you've got wits, you've got passion

but I swear that you've got me all wrong.

[mood: discomfort]
[music: Runaway - Anberlin]

I don't like today for some odd reason. Tuesday's are usually my favourite day of the week but today...

I honestly don't know why either.

It's 9.12pm and I have nothing nailed. I'm talking about my revision. The only thing I know is that I have 2 more chapters to study and a heck lot of nilai's to memorize.

Wish me luck? Thanks.

Woke up to a rainy morning. I absolutely love the rain, be it in the morning, noon or night. There's something about it that just makes me smile eventhough people say it dampens your mood. For me, it's the complete opposite.

School was chilly and I could hardly pay attention to what teacher was teaching on the board. I don't think any of us could. Some of the guys ended up going for recess like an hour earlier. That's a new record for them.

As for me, I lost my one of my Add Maths exercise books. It's frustrating cos I get so pumped to do my homework only to find out my book is missing. Sucks.

Well, I had mashed potatoes and some fish crackers for recess. Don't know why I even bothered to pen that down.

Had Moral after that. The new dateline for the folio is this Friday. Will I make it in time? Let's hope so.

Chui Nee was in a bad mood. Poor girl. My heart really does go out to her at times. Those boys are pricks at times but you know they mean no harm. I just like to think of it as, immaturity at its highest. =]

Got a bit frantic when I found out that my Add Maths TEXTBOOK went missing this time around. Along with my favourite pencil. Searched high and low for it. No results. Was soo disappointed and at the same time I was thinking of a proper excuse to tell my mom.

About 15 minutes before the bell rang, Kelvin came up to me with my book in his hand. Phew! So it didn't get stolen. Turns out, Hau Yang had it all along. Together with my pencil! I was speechless because he would be the last I'd person ask. He's usually sleeping or missing. Pretty much non-existent in the class, so you get the picture?

Gordan told me and Lindley a ghost story after that. Eventhough I've heard it before, it still made me scream and gave me a fright! See, I'm that afraid of anything related to horror. =\

Came home and ONLINED.

What am I gonna do with me? Oh well, I promise I'll cover everything before daybreak.

2007-03-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

Come on take a step towards me,

so you can figure me out

[mood: anti-social]
[music: Coin operated boy - Dresden Dolls]

Oof I don't know where to start.

Should I cram a whole week's event into one post? Maybe I will cos nothing much been's happening anyways. I promise, this won't be lengthy.

Contarary to what I said on my previous post, this week has been anything but productive. Simply put it, I did not get any homework finished much less study for the monthly tests. Disappointed? Very much.

I was gonna take this exam very seriously. At the rate I'm going, I don't think I'm very serious about it. I shall resolute to my old ways. More cramming and more caffeine. You'll be hearing these two words alot this year.

I still don't know where this is going. Bare with me. I feel like a zombie right now.

Highlight of the week was definitely Nick's birthday party that was on Tuesday. He bought us lunch and then we hung out. Spent exactly 3 hours figuring out a present for him. We got him a bag. Personally, I think it looks awesome. So hopefully, Nick feels the same. Watched a gruesome movie after that. Titled, 300. I liked it eventhough it was bloody and gory.

The rest of the days just flew by without me doing anything. I wake up, did some bonding with the tele and computer and then went back to bed.

Friday was a little better. Time for me to balik kampung!! Excited? Oh yes yes. I can't wait to greet the chickens and cows that roam around the village.

Left in the morning. Arrived late in the afternoon. Gave a peck on the cheek to my granny and oh my gee, I'm jealous that she lost so much weight. I asked her the secret to her weight loss, she told me she went jogging every morning. I'm like wtf. She jogs?!

Seeing as how there was nothing to do, I did my homework. Even then, I did not finish it! I did like 2 exercises and then got distracted by my mp3 player. I'm such a letdown.

In the evening, I played tag with my brothers. It was not fun. I was 'it' and I had to chase those brats around. I gave up and then played a little football. After that, I don't know what got to me but I started dancing to Van Morrison's Dancing in the Moonlight. Could have been the adrenalin rushing or the effect of the sambal udang I had earlier.

I got a kick out of that. It has been so long since I acted so carefree and goofed off. My mom shook her head disapprovingly but I didn't mind. She ended up laughing at me.

Got up early on Saturday and returned home. The whole day was spent scouting around for new music. I'm sick of my playlist already.

Monday's back to school and gosh, I'm looking forward to that as well!

PS: Told you it won't be lengthy. :]

---

A for Age :
17 in about 3 months or so.

B for Booze of Choice :
I haven't found one I particularly like.

C for Career :
Photography? Journalism? Music? Marine biology? I'm undecided.

D for your most Dreaded :
SPM. Growing up.

E for essential items you use everyday :
Computer & toothbrush

F for Favourite song of the moment :
Existentialism on Prom Night - Straylight Run <33>

G for favourite Game :
Pac Man!

H for Hometown :
Malacca

I for Indulgence :
Everything sinful.

J for favourite flavour of juice :
Apple will be it.

K for Koo Kien Keat :
K for kaleidoscope, heh random. And thanks Karyn for the info on the name mentioned

L for Last Hug by anyone :
My grandma.

M for Mother :
A handful at times but I love her

N for Name of your crush :
n/a

O for Orgasms :
Ooooh..

P for Phobias :
Cockroaches, fucking nasty.

Q for Quote :
Too many. I'm a quote whore.

R for biggest Regret :
I don't feel like spilling.

S for Status :
Singlesingle

T for Time you wake up :
6.30, tres sad.

U for Underwear :
Boxers, be it for girls or guys, I like both.

V for Vegetable you love :
Asparagus. =O

W for Worst habit :
Chewing on my lip.

X for X movies I've watched :
X-rated movies? Um, maybe 3. Watched it when I was 10 & I didn't get it.

Y for Yummy food you make :
French toast. I make the best ones.

Z for Zodiac sign :
Gemini. II

Tagged by: Karyn dearest.

1. Chui Nee
2. Yorsh
3. Sheila
4. Reagan
5. Lindley

2007-03-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

I didn't know your name,
not even the color of your eyes.

[mood: relieved]
[music: Day late friend - Anberlin]

It's the holidaaaaaaays!

Jump for joy! Scream out loud!

Jeez, I'm acting like I'm out of school for good. Unfortunately, it's only a one week break. And for us, it's gonna be a study break. Exams are beginning the week after this.

Nothing much to celebrate anymore, eh?

Well on a much lighter note, my theory exams are done!

Woke up early today to get ready. I was super exhausted last night because we went for a dinner party and stayed there til about 12.30. To top it off, I haven't fully memorized all my terms and key signatures!

The exam started at 9 and it lasted for two hours. I lost 5 marks already because of some silly mistakes! I forgot to double sharpen the F in G# minor and then I thought violin was a transposing instrument. I should've just stuck with flute. So that's it for me. Don't even think of getting a distinction for this paper.

...omg I sounded like a geek. =\

I'll stop talking alien and resume back to my usual usage of proper Engrish.

After the whole thing, I headed off to the bank to open an account. It's abit late but whatever.

I hate stepping into banks. Firstly, I don't know about you but I feel like whenever I push open that door everyone just turns to look! So fine, I walk in and queue up. And people are still staring at me! It's like they can sense I'm new at this whole banking thing and they're waiting for me to make a mistake that will cos chaos.

Guhh! Maybe I'm just too self-concious but one thing's for sure, I don't like banks. Also I can't help feeling that maybe a robbery will occur at that very moment and I'd get shot. That'd be pretty cool.

In the end, I didn't get my account open cos the line was too long. So, I'll have to wake up early again tomorrow and start all over.

Came home and propped myself in front of the tele. There wasn't anything special going on so I just randomly flicked through channels. Wanted to finish a bit more of my moral but decided against it in the other end.

Had a nap from 6 to 9. How refreshing.

Ohhh it's my youngest brother's birthday today. My dad got 2 tortoises and I named them, Harry & Dick. It was such a spur of the moment thing but he liked the names. haha

By the way, Avril is hothothot. Go check her out!

2007-03-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

I trust people a little less every day.
it's the way i see them destroy others lives.

[mood: pleased]
[music: - ]

Ahhhh Moral folio is stressing me out. See, this is the result of procrastination. It's not like I've not been through it. As a matter of fact, I think it's the millionth time I've been in this situation.

Do I learn from it? No. I just complain about it and not take any action, kinda like what I'm doing now.

So what should I do? Learn to live with it. Bad habits. Reaaaal bad.

I missed going to school. Eventhough I talk shit about it all the time, it's actually kinda fun especially during times like these where you practically own the school.

Today I took the effort to get out of bed and head off to school. Partly also because I needed to see teacher regarding my folio that's due tomorrow! *panic attacks*

Nobody came to school besides the people that were involved with the whole sports thing. So me and Lisa walked around the school trying to find teacher in the morning. And behind us, the whole gang of guys that were in desperate need of help as well.

Hah see! Last minute work. *shakes head*

Finally found her at the field. She told us she'd only be free after 9.30. So we went back to class.

Keith brought some poker cards and we on the other hand had money. Put those two together and you end up getting a group of gambling kids. Yes, in school. It's really funny come to think of it.

Played Blackjack throughout. We even turned Lisa into a gambler, something she's never accustomed to. Philbert was the banker and he lost 30 bucks altogether. I did banker for like one round and that was traumatizing. I don't know how the guys can stand being banker for so long. Maybe cos most of them are rich and risk takers.

We gambled until the last bell rang. My luck was pretty good today. Got my fair bit of Blackjack's so I'm happy. In the end, I got a total win of 12 bucks. And I came out with nothing. Lisa got 20 bucks. 2 times more than what she had. Sooo, everyone's happy today.

Ohh I never thought I'd post this up but he was my good luck charm for the day. Well at least I think he is. ;)

JOEEEEEY! He doesn't look that bad laa. Maybe a little spas but other than that, it's okay what.

2007-03-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Everytime you go to sleep at night,

I wonder what you hide behind closed eyes

[mood: feeling disgusting]
[music: Save your breath - Hit the Lights]

Another day absent from school. I could get used to this! =]

Yeaaaah like my folks would actually allow that to happen. Tomorrow it's back to school. Plan to take pictures for the Moral folio and then just finish up whatever homework. I heard there isn't going to be any studies at all.

Got up at several intervals this morning. First one was at 7.15. Waited for I Jing to come over. We were supposed to go to MPSJ but I decided to just sleep in. So she came and we continued sleeping until Rizal came at 10 to get her.

I slept on til about 12. :]]

After that I got up, showered and then studied for my Chemistry test. I have to admit, I didn't put a lot of effort into it. I thought I covered everything but when the real thing came, I didn't do so well. Don't ask.

Got an sms from Keith saying, "Wanna Maju later?"

That made me giggle for some odd reason. So e headed down to Maju. He was like half an hour late due to certain reasons. Wilson came along. After a while, Gordan showed up. Oh my god, that boy was in such a bad shape. He's been going for MSSD for 2 consecutive days and you can immediately see how bad it's affected him.

He's eyes were red and he got sunburned. But he loves the game, so what can I say. Got an sms from him later in the night saying that he's fallen sick. Told him to drink plenty of water and sleep. Hope he gets well. =[

Attended a funeral at about 7. Yes, another one. Every month there's one. Really sad.

The place was crowded. So many people were crying. I felt a little out of place because I don't know anyone there besides my friend and he was nowhere to be found. So for the first 2 hours, I just sat in silence, occasionally text messaging some people. Imagine how awkward that must've been.

Arrived home 15 minutes to midnight. I can't wait to finish my Theory Exam and then, the HOLIDAYS! =D

This picture made my dayyy! Too cute.

2007-03-06T02:24:00.000-08:00

THE GREAT ESCAPE

by Boys Like Girls

Paper bags and plastic hearts

All are belongings in shopping carts

It's goodbye

But we got one more night

Let's get drunk and ride around

And make peace with an empty town

We can make it right

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn

Let it die

Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives

It's so good to be by your side

But we'll cry

We won't give up the fight

We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs

And they'll think it's just cause we're young

And we'll feel so alive

All of the wasted time

The hours that were left behind

The answers that we'll never find

They don't mean a thing tonight

2007-03-05T04:47:00.000-08:00

starting to hurt from the ache.

you didn't understand. you never understood

[mood: numb]
[music: Rain - Breaking Benjamin]

3am is officially my favourite time of the day.

That's when everything's so silent until the beat of your heart becomes so distinct. Ahh sleepless nights have got me bad.

School was a drag literally. We didn't study at all. Plotted a few escape plan but alas, they all failed. A few lucky ones managed to run out of school. They nearly got caught, but like I said, lucky.

So me and Chui Nee ended up rotting in school. My mood throughout the day wasn't pleasant at all. I was sleepy and tired and just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. It's one of those where you just want to bury your head in your hands and drown in your own thoughts.

We went out about 45 minutes earlier. Fly.fm Troopers were outside the school compound. Was hoping to score some free merch. Tough luck though. Chui Nee on the other hand got something. (:

Came home and immediately fell asleep until about 5 in the evening. Dropped by Pizza Hut to return my cheque. I'm gonna a new one in 2 weeks and it'll worth much much moreee!

Struggled to keep awake during my Physics tuition. Electric fields whaaaat? My brain's all jumbled up.

I'm going through such a hard hard time right now. I have nowhere else to vent except here. Yes, I am aware that this is made public but I don't think it'll make a difference. Boys just spell trouble, and this time I'm soo mad at myself for falling into it.

It's not like I didn't know better. I anticipated everything and it did turn out like that. Why am I feeling so helpless and broken now? This is probably one of the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm in disbelief, especially at myself. I risked so many things because I was too caught up with my own emotions. Emotions I myself am not sure are real or not.

I'm sick of feeling this low and down. I'm sick of waking up with bloodshot eyes. It's not fun and it's draining the energy out of me. My smiles are lies and my laughters are fake.

I wished that I had never loved at all.

there are just certain things in life

things that are better off unknown;

things you wish you never asked,

never saw, never heard, or even never felt.

2007-03-04T05:55:00.000-08:00

Even though you're right there,

I can't reach out and touch you.

[mood: uncertain]
[music: Dancing in the moonlight - Van Morrison]

Another late night and early morning for me.

The party went okay. Got there and had a talk with Michael. That boy sucks big time at giving advices. He's just biased and hard headed.

Chui Nee had was yelling at Chong throughout the night over a lost popiah. Everytime Chong greeted her, she would scream at him and proceed to give him one of her deadly glares.

Never ever mess with her when it comes to things like that.

We headed upstairs to watch the Man Utd/Liverpool match. There were more Man Utd supporters in that room last night, me being one of them. I'm not a huge fan but I was on their team last night. It was very clear that United got lucky and that Liverpool deserved the win.

Gordan was devastated when they won. I didn't know what to say to him especially because he's such an avid Liverpool supporter. But hey, just as long as we all know who played the best out there, the score doesn't matter. Well, to me that's how I'd look at it.

Gambled for a bit after that. No big win for me to brag about.

Church went fine. So many activities coming up. I have to slot in time for more practice in the weeks to come. The word "stress-free" is non-existent in my life this year.

Came home and slept. That was the best part of my day. It's been a while since I took a satisfying nap like that.

The week to come will be hectic. With so many datelines to meet, hopefully the sports day activities will buy some extra time for me finish everything on time.

2007-03-03T22:45:00.000-08:00

So tell me what your secret is to letting go,

letting go like you did.

[mood: determined]
[music: Holiday - Boys like girls]

I didn't sleep until 4 last night.

My eyes wouldn't close. My mind wouldn't stop.

I just kept thinking and one thought led to another resulting in a whole web of thoughts that never made any sense. So, I got up and decided to pen those thoughts down. Ended up drawing on that piece of paper. I have to admit, it did look pretty neat.

Skipped school yesterday and slept in.

In the evening, went for Add Maths tuition which is always a chore for me. Spent a solid 2 hours on countless sums that I'm never able to grasp. Don't think I ever will.

At about 9, followed Karyn to Maju. Was supposed to meet up with Chui Nee and her cousin, Estelle, from Australia. A number of us turned up. Talked until about midnight. Topics were mostly on the upcoming Sports Day for my school. Good luck to Karyn who's running 1500m on Monday!

Me, Karyn and Kok Seng decided to walk home. Jojo, Nick and Johan tagged along. On the way, Karyn's mom called asking who was she going home with. She said me. =]

Today will be a long day. I plan to stay off the computer and stick to my books. Very unlikely but I'm hoping for it. Got Tung Meng's open house to attend to later in the evening. I don't know why but I'm feeling awfully lazy to dress up, plaster on a smile and socialize.

Oh I got another new layout up. I like this one more compared to the pink one. That was abit extreme for me. But nonetheless, all forms of comments and criticism are very much appreciated.

2007-02-28T02:50:00.000-08:00

I've got a weak constitution,

I'm led on so easily

[mood: bothered]
[music: Dear Jamie...Sincerely Me - Hellogoodbye]

Duuuuuude, I feel like quitting.

I'm so tired of going through the same ordeal day in, day out. Gah the pressure on me is so immense it's almost suffocating.

I thought of skipping school today. Was so sleepy but I couldn't cos I remembered I had important subjects today. Result? Got up late and ended up in school at 8 o'clock. Made some crappy story to my Physics teacher and thankfully, she bought it.

It wasn't until recess time that I found out some really bad news. Needless to say, I was devastated. It's amazing how some people can just lie to your face eventhough they're supposedly to be one your closest friends. I was so disappointed after that. The whole thing just dampened my mood for the day.

Now I know what it means to never trust. I was oblivious to everything before this. I thought he was sincere and looked how things turned out? To top it all of, I have act like I know nothing about this. Ugh I don't even wanna think about it.

Came home and immediately rushed for my Chemistry tuition. Wednesdays are the busiest days. Sat through one and a half our of pointless chemistry, to me at least. I'm just not cut out for science, sorry.

Here are some pictures I took from yesterday. Brought my camera to school with the intention of doing some "kerja amal". Never got to it.

Geeeeeek! hahaha. Chui Nee with her oh-so-sad book. It's not that sad lah.

Pn. Chew, the infamous Add Math teacher. Oh and look, I see Hau Yang's head!

Me calculator, me love. :]

THE LION! I still think it's cute

...and that's Seo trying to take a picture of my Lion.

Whaddya know, I got tagged. It's been a while since I last did a survey. So here.

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE

Name: Adelina Shee
Birth Date: 18th June 1990.
Current Status: Singlesingle.
Eye Colour: Dark brown
Hair Colour: Jet black
Righty or Lefty: Righty :D

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE

My Heritage: As far as I know, I think I'm pure chinese.
My Fears: Horror movies and ghosts =\
My Weaknesses: The internet and my bed. Oh and probably the tele as well
My Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni and loads of cheese.

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

My Thoughts First Waking Up: Is it a school day?
My Bedtime: It's constantly shifting from day to day.
My Most Missed Memory: Too many.

LAYER 4: MY PICK

Pepsi or Coke: Coke fer sure.
McDonald's or Burger King: MaccieD's!
Single or Group Dates: Depends
Adidas or Nike: Nike, just because.
Tea or Nestea: Depends as well
Chocolate or Vanilla: I prefer chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee! yes please.

LAYER 5: DO YOU...

Smoke: No
Curse: Too often
Take a Shower: Uhh, yes duh?
Have a Crush: Yessss :[
Think You've Been In Love: I don't know
Go To School: Unfortunately.
Want To Get Married: Still thinking about that
Believe In Yourself: Hahaha no
Think Your A Health Freak: I don't think so.

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST

Drank Alcohol: Yeah
Gone To The Mall: About a week ago
Been On Stage: Yes. Not a nice feeling for me
Eaten Sushi: Who hasn't?!
Dyed Your Hair: Not...yet.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER...

Played A Stripping Game: Nope.
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: Yes I have.

LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...

To Be Married: Late 20's. No hurry there

LAYER 9: IN A GUY...

Best Eye Colour: Piercing blue eyes; heartstopper
Best Hair Colour: Um, whatever suits the guy.
Short Hair or Long Hair: Refer above

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...

A Minute Ago: Lying on my bed
Hour Ago: Chemistry tuition. Brain's fried
4.5 Hours Ago: Was in school, rambling to Michael about what a sucky day it has been
1 Month Ago: That would be the 28th of January and I can't remember what I did
Year Ago: No idea

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCES...

I love: to blog
I feel: stupid sometimes
I hate: exams
I hide: my feelings
I miss: my friends
I need: to watch a movie

LAYER 12: TAG 5 PEOPLE

1. Jing
2. Chui Nee
3. Reagan
4. Cassie
5. Yorsh

2007-02-25T00:35:00.000-08:00

No fact, or fiction, or storyline

'Cause I need you more than just for tonight.

[mood: dammit]
[music: Work - Jimmy Eat World]

Today was sucky.

Woke up at around 11. It's the time of the month again, felt disgusting and bloated. Perks of being a woman.

Took a shower and then continued doing my Moral. I have to finish it by the 28th of February. God knows how am I gonna do that. I still have about 12 pictures to take and 6 essays to complete. Not to mention, the binding and the decorating. At the rate I'm going, I need more than a month to really finish it.

But no one from my class has even started. Well, maybe one or two. So hopefully teacher will give us grace and extend the dateline, to perhaps a month from now? x)

My parents had guests from church come in today. Some of my friends came over as well so that broke my momentum. We ended up watching half of Material Girls and then we switched to The Holiday.

I love that show! It's a sweet show and a little sad. I bet every girl out there can relate to it in one way or another. I especially like the opening lines to the show. She quoted from Shakespeare and all. Some of the words really just hits you.

That was my afternoon, spent in front of the TV.

Started getting ready for Eric's party that was gonna be at 7. Reached there at about 7.10? He stays really nearby and he has two houses! He even had a treadmill. Ah rich kids.

We did that Yee Sang thing? The customary thing you do during Chinese New Year, where you grab a pile of crackers and mix it up. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Well, this was my first for the year. I hope it brings me luck or whatever it's supposed to bring.

Joey was on the brink of getting drunk. Hahahaha it was funny just watching him. He starting singing to his favourite thai song and his face was all red. There was one part where I thought he was crying. He only had like, what 2 cans of beer.

Sometimes I'm envious of people that get drunk easily. Me? I just can't seem to get drunk. No matter what I take! I've tried like Vodka and Bacardi. None of them works. I'm gonna get a tequila shot with Karyn next time and if that doesn't work, I don't know what else will.

Started gambling after that. Played Blackjack for about 2 hours. I had much better luck today than I did yesterday. Profited about 20 bucks from the whole game.

And then Johan just had to suggest a game called 'in between' to us. Basically, it eats all your money up. I lost everything in that game. Maybe partially cos I'm not a risk taker. I play safe, only bet the small amounts. That's why I win slow and lose fast. grr

But seriously, this game is freaky. It's really based on luck. Anything can just come out! I got goosebumps while playing it. You would either win it all or lose it all. Clearly, we'd want the better option.

In the end, I manage to salvage my 4 bucks back. That was how much I took out in the beginning. Johan offered to pay whatever me and Karyn lost, but obviously we declined. It'd make us sound like such sore losers!

But he's a such a sweet guy, eh? He was banker for Blackjack for quite sometime and he practically lost everything. Still he kept on playing. Pity the man sometimes. And then he rested for a while cos he needed to apply some hand cream on his hands. Even I don't use hand cream! Made fun of him for a while.

Got such a huge disappointment during one of the games. Broke my heart. ='(

I told Karyn about it after everything and she could guess half of it. Damn saaad laaahh.

Oh and then she had to point out to me another thing which did not aid me in any way. Gahhh! What a party.

2007-02-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug

You can't wait to fall in love

BOYS LIKE GIRLS

This band fucken owns.

Don't comment on the name. What's more important is the tunes they produce, innit?!

It's the best thing that's on my playlist right now and I don't even know how it got there. I think I discovered them through some website and then I downloaded track after track.

Right now, I can't keep my hands of them.

With killer musicianship and simple heartfelt lyrics, this can pass for the next Jimmy Eat World. Maybe a watered down version of them. Genre? Pop/punk/rock. Maybe a little emo thrown in.

The vocals are superb. Singer, Martin Johnson's, tenor voice and the occasional falsetto's just give the song much more depth and range.

Honestly, the song that first got me hooked on was 'Thunder'. I absolutely lovelovelove the lyrics to that song. But their first single is called 'HeroHeroine'.

So, check them out and if you like them, tell a friend. Just like I did.

Moving on, I spent the whole afternoon during nothing but stalking the above band mentioned. Watched video after video of them on Youtube and then burned their album.

Was supposed to finish up my homework today, especially my Moral folio, but naaahh. Didn't get anywhere close to that.

Got a sudden phonecall from Karyn saying that she had a party tonight? Was surprised cos it was totally unexpected. Turned out, she was bored. So what better way to cure her boredome than to have a party! It's true ya'know.

Went over to her place at about 7.15. Had dinner whilst watching American Idol. Kok Seng couldn't stop commenting on each and every one of them, as usual. Funny though.

Played Twister before gambling. I think it's been a while since any one of us played that game. But it was a fun game. Got a good laugh out of it. Much needed for the gambling that was gonna come after.

Played Black Jack. Luck wasn't so good for Karyn and Chui Nee. For me it was okay. I didn't win much, didn't lose much. So yeah, basically that.

Another party to go to tomorrow! Ah I don't feel like going back to school at all. Then it's back to the usual regime, which I hatehatehate. Ugh bite me.

2007-02-20T04:28:00.000-08:00

You write such pretty words

But life's no storybook

[mood: disappointed]
[music: none]

I'm half relieved that the holidays are over.

Not the school holidays, gosh no. I want that to go on forever. Instead, I'm relieved that my family holidays are over.

I had a 4 day stay in Malacca. The first day of new year was spent at my grandmum's house as always. That place is really kampung. I used to like that place when I was a kid because she had alot of land so we could go running around her yard, digging soil and poking at whatever that comes out of the soil.

It was a heap load of fun back then but I don't I'd want to poke at earthworms anymore.

Second day we checked into a hotel, thankfully. It was a nice place but I ended up sleeping on the couch while my parents get the extra comfy bed with thick duvets and my bro got the extra matress. All I had was a pillow and bath robes as a subsitute for blankets.

I don't know why I didn't bother to whine my way through and earn myself a decent place to sleep.

It was a quiet new year. The roads were empty. Most of the shops were closed. The once bright and lively Malacca, steeped in rich history has now turned into a ghost town. Even Jonker Walk, supposedly one of the most crowded and busiest place in town wasn't really that packed.

Went visiting. Didn't do much this year resulting in lesser angpau's. Saaadd.

I guess the pig year just isn't the year for me.

Came back to the hotel. Got bored, so I decided to check out the gym. Hah yes the gym.

Entered and I immediately got a couple of stares from the people inside. I looked around and felt kinda intimidated by the huge machinaries there. Braved myself and took another step.

In the end the only thing I dared use was the treadmill. Yeah the treadmill was alot of fun. I kept altering the speed and the incline. I jogged for half an hour straight and I liked it!

Went out to the pool and damn, I forgot my swimsuit.

Had dinner opposite the hotel and the food there were ridiculously overpriced. The bill amounted to about RM 150 for 5 people. And we only had about 4 dishes. Just cos it's the new year. pfft

Ohh I finally finally finally got my camera. I was saying that I wanted to get the S10 but in the end I got the S9. The was S10 was above my budget so my mom said no.

I got the S9 for RM 890. I think it's a good price and I'm happy with it. Now, I just have to get used to it and hopefully produce some courteous pictures.

That's all I have for now. I've been a slothful blogger. Too lazy to think. To lazy to write. Gah sorry peeps. It's just a passing phase I hope.

2007-02-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

I wanna run,

but only far enough for you to miss me

[mood: happy and uh, hot?]
[music: Broken Man - Boys like Girls]

15 more minutes until the end of Valentines.

For some people, they dread just hearing the sound of it. Time for more Ben & Jerry's cookie dough and sappy love movies, wallowing in lonliness. Sad huh?

But for others, it's time to ravage their closet looking for that sexy red dress and the rest of the day is spent wondering where will they be going out for dinner this year.

To shortly put it, some love it and some just don't.

As for me, I'm somewhere in between. Not that I have anything against happy couples, but it can be kinda nauseating at times, no? The only thing I look forward to on Valentines is the funny shout-outs on the radio, the V'day promotions and of course, my best friend's birthday, the infamous, Karyn Lee!

*gives a standing ovation*

Well, I'll start from ze top. It's been a while since I last blogged.

This year I was in charge with Wilson for the Valentines Day sale in my school. We were selling roses. Good ol' roses.

In the beginning, the response towards it was poor. And then business starting booming and the demands for roses kept increasing. Before we knew it, we simply didn't have enough.

So, I had to refund some of the people who paid but did not get their flowers. I'm truly sorry.

We managed to deliver everything in the end. My mood in school was a little...off? Was moody and easily agitated. I was starting to think that this was gonna be worst Valentines ever.

To top it off, we were supposed to get some balloons that the Leo club was selling. But at the end of the day, none came. And I wanted it soooo bad cos it looked adorable bobbing up and down.

Dissapointment. But I thank the 5 guys that contributed! You fella's are sweet (:

After school, we all gathered round to wait for Karyn. VIP of the day. Naturally, as a VIP, you get extra special treatments.

And that's exactly what we gave her. The moment she stepped outside the school gates, everything came down on her. Simon came with flour and boom, she was covered in em. Kinda gross if you ask me but I gave her a hug in the end. That's what friends are for!

The rest of them headed for Maju after while I made my way home. Had chemistry tuition at 3. I heard that she got dumped with fish curry, dhal and God knows what else while she was there. It was worse than all the flour and water. Hahahaha poor girl. But hey, it only happens once a year.

Chemistry seemed like forever. But I did to get some info squeezed into my brain.

Came home and got ready to go out for dinner with the group. Chui Nee came to pick me up at about 7.

We went to Swensen's for dinner and my, was that place packed. The sad thing is that everyone I used to work with isn't there anymore! My supervisor quit and some of my co-workers just stopped coming. That killed all hopes of me working back there again.

But I did say hi to Simon. According to Karyn, his 'hey' to me was different. I didn't notice haha

Throughout dinner, I kept arguing with Eddie cos he was seated opposite me. That smart alec only brought 10 bucks so I ended up paying half for him. He had never been to Swensen's so he didn't know it was gonna be that pricy. There was one time I pissed him off and he walked out of the restaurant. Erk thank God it wasn't that serious.

I Jing bought a huge ass Secret Recipe chocolate cake for Karyn and oh my gosh, it was delicious but sooo sinful. Karyn gave us each big pieces and I couldn't finish mine. But it was yummy! Kok Seng's girlfriend bought him the same type of cake as well hahaha

We walked around Parade for a while, thinking of where to go. Most of us had curfews cos it's a school night so we ended up taking the bus to Maju.

Some really nasty things happened tonight although it was supposed to be all fun and laughter. Some things just never change. But mostly, I just feel bad for her. She doesn't deserve all that she's going through right now. Nonetheless, I know that we'll all be here for her.

Final shoutout to Ryn;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KARYN!
Love ya as much as a fat boy loves cake!
hugs&kisses

2007-02-09T08:21:00.000-08:00

maybe I was wrong,

and I ignored him for too long

and I didn't even notice

when he slipped away

if you see him out there,

tell him it's not fair

and that life's just not the same

when he's not here

Don't ask.

I don't have the answers to anything right now.

2007-02-06T03:49:00.000-08:00

You are the one that whispers,

"hello, I miss you quite terribly"

[mood: energetic]
[music: Here in your arms - Hellogoodbye]

Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!

Hahaha I'm a little hyper, no? Actually that's the album name for the band Hellogoodbye. I like it. It's cute and not to mention totally original. I mean, who would actually think of a name like that?!

This song I'm listening to just makes me want to danceeeee!!

So, school?

I had alot of work to catch up on seeing as how I missed it yesterday. Got work for almost every subject. Thank god my Add Maths teacher only decided to start on a new chapter today so no new homework on that subject.

Right now, I'm stressing on the Valentines Day sale. I Jing just told me that some reka cipta club in our school is also selling roses!! Like, what the hell?

The best part is they're advertising it as a VALENTINES DAY sale and it got approved while we had to think some stupid cover for the sale.

Hah the irony. The people in my school are so biased.

After school me and Chui Nee made a quick trip to some bakeries and voila, we got the cupcakes settled.

Roses, check.
Cupcakes, check.

That just leaves a whole lot other things to deal with. Oh please make this work out. We need the money so badly.

So please, people. Help support our club! Buy roses, cupcakes, anything that we're gonna sell. Even if you don't have a partner, what's the harm in buying a rose or two for your dear cherished friends? See, now I do have a point.

Some really awkward moments were experienced in school today. Awkward, but funny. I just don't get it. I took so long to make up my mind and when I did, people start saying I'm so stupid for doing it. Can't you see?! It's coming down hard on me as well.

But just when I'm starting to get used to how things are, moments like these happen and it makes me re-think the whole situation. To some of them it might just be a joke, but to me it's serious. Real downright serious. Not just something I do so you guys can have something to play around with.

Now I'm in a dilemma. Ugh just leave me alone. It's not like it matters to you, so stop trying to imply that it does. Honestly, you can't handle the truth and then you'll be the one backing out.

[/end of rant]

2007-02-05T00:12:00.000-08:00

Stop getting up for the let down

[mood: sick]
[music: Missing - Evanescence]

Woke up reaal late today, about 12 something? It's been ages since I did that.

Had to attend a memorial service last night. One of my mom's bestfriend's husband passed away. Haha yeah it'll take a while for that last sentence to click.

I was supposed to be in school today but I was too tired to even move a muscle. My dad said we had to attend the funeral which in the end we didn't. =
EST assignment that was to be presented today clearly didn't make it to the school's projector because of my absenty. We'll try and do it tomorrow. Sorry Chui Nee!

You guys probably might have already heard about the robbery in Subang Parade and also the swift arrest made after that.

Honestly, that has been one of the highlites of my weekend. I mean, a real life robbery with firearms and dead people! And it happened so close! This is even cooler than all the action movies.

One of my church members happen to work there, in Subang Parade and she practically saw everything! So yes, I went to church yesterday and all I could talk about was the robbery.

As much as it is fun to listen to, it's also really scary. They were ruthless, brutal robbers having no compassion whatsoever. My deepest condolonces to the victims of that shoot-out.

Coming back to my life where everything's peaceful. I have a lot of homework to deal with, projects in school and I have tuition later in the evening.

I feel so lazy. No motivation to do anything. Sucks that this year has to be our "big and final year".

2007-02-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

I'm not so sure

if I'm sure of anything, anymore

[mood: down]
[music: Monster - Meg & Dia]

Today was well um, flat?

No colours. No highlites. No ups. No fun. No nothing basically.

Got woken by my mom. She doesn't believe in sleeping in. Says it just wastes your day.

Well, I don't think so. What is there to do in the morning? Watch Saturday morning cartoons? Psh sorry, I've grown out of it.

Tried making some plans to go down to the chocolate factory today but everyone let me down. I don't blame them. I mean, they actually have proper lives! Unlike me who just mopes around at home.

So right now, I don't know how the whole sale is gonna work out but I'll help by praying for it.

Skipped piano class cos I was too lazy to go. Plus, my theory was unfinished so no point in going. Managed to talk my mom out from sending me all the way Puchong. Told her about the perils of driving all the way there. Imagine if she got lost and then she would end up in Kajang. Don't ask me why Kajang.

She bought it but there was a catch. I would have to finish at least two papers. So my whole afternoon was spent doing nothing but theory. There were the occasional trips to the bathroom and then downstairs to get water. You know, just to let time slip away.

I dug out some of my old stuff. Like, old files and documents. It was filthy. God knows how long those has been in there. Probably since the time I moved in.

Anyways, I stumbled across a whole stack of posters and they were all posters from the late 90's.

Pictures of members from Westlife particularly. I was such an avid Westlife back then. Hey, I still can name you all five of them okay.

And then there were posters of Atomic Kitten, S Club, A1. Gosh I remember them! I used to think they were dead hot with them dancing in the rain. Of course I had to have at least ONE poster of the Backstreet Boys. It's the Backstreet Boys man!

Strange how things just completely change overnight. There they were, the boybands with their fancy dance moves, the I'll-love-you-forever sort of lyrics, and their pretty faces, dominating the charts with fans that burst into fits of hysteria upon the mere sight of their rented car, and where are they now?

Gone just like that. Like props for a magic show.

And what's worse is that we're all out to constantly criticize them, or anything that remotely resembles a "boyband". Just to make sure that they'll be gone for good.

That's the entertainment world, boys and girls. Nearly impossible to predict.

Well that's that. The rest of my evening was spent in front of the tv. Nothing special was on.

Watched abit of Hannah Montana and then Room Raiders. I think I flicked through almost every single channel Astro has to offer.

Even TVIQ! They were talking about the Specific Heat Capacity. Interesting..

Hah I see that all my useless ranting has helped lengthen my post. Well, all this should suffice.